zen mind ordinary mind

new Mahabodhi Monastery

2010-11-28T05:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Frens,

yet another little advertisement to raise awareness,

that Mahabodhi Monastery under abbot Venerable Guo Jun,

are busy building their new building

So to all my Dharma Frens out there, if u are able to,do check out the Mahabodhi website for more details on how u can help,

the completion of the new monastery would be of benefit to many pple =)

may all be well n happy,

breathing in with awareness,

breathing out with a smile,

one deep bow...

Day of Mindfulness (DOM)

2010-11-28T05:15:00.000-08:00

Today joyful garden sangha we held a day of mindfulness @ pao ern shih...
it was great to see so many (70) pple motivated to practice for a day together,
realli appreciative of the strong collective energy =)

programme was
walking meditation followed by a Dharma talk by Thay (DVD) on the Brahmaviharas - loving kindness, compassion, joy and inclusiveness (amounting to true love =))
then a veri nice lunch courtesy of pao ern shih yum yum =p
afterwhich we did total relaxation, dharma discussion, sitting meditation, 5 mindfulness trainings recitation and wrapping up b4 going home =)

a meaningful day indeed =)

had this short discussion on laziness with regards to practice...
shared my own experience,
that i see it somewhat like the stock market =p
sometimes bull run (when the postive energy to practice is strong)
sometimes bear mkt (when laziness n resistance to practice sets in)
often i realise the trigger for a bull run,
more often than not, is the attendance of a retreat,
be it a one day DOM, 3 day/ 5 days retreats,
the important thing is probably the collective energy of the retreat of all retreatants,
set off within myself the positive energy to put in jus that little extra effort into practice...

that little extra energy to perserve with daily sittings...
extra energy to remember to do conscious breathing, mindful walking, loving speech deep listening etc during everyday life...
that little extra energy to rem to refrain from manifestation of emotional reactions n rtn to the physical sensations etc...

thank u my spiritual frens,
for bringing about the "bull runs" =)

sincerely yours,
ur lazy zen student =P

working with emotional distress

2010-11-16T21:25:00.001-08:00

i think hardly a day passes without some kind of emotional distress arising,
big or small, work related or personal life related...
be it anger, irritation, frustration etc etc etc

here's a line from ezra bayda that puts emotional distress into perspective,
practice perspective...

...emotional distress is a signal that we are experiencing life through the filter of an ideal, a picture or an expectation...

if there's enough mindfulness on that day on that occasion,
i might... just might rem to practice with the emotional distress =p
usually this is possible when i rem to do conscious breathing...

some steps that u might find helpful in such situations...
1. becoming aware of the distress energy arising within, breathing in breathing out,
thru conscious breathing, i might just be able to loosen my identification with the distress related thoughts a little, open up my mind a little and bring a practice perspective to the whole situation
2. refrain from my normal emotional reactions, be it justifications thru more thinking, blaming/lashing out at others or suppression within... all these of cse fuel more energy to the distress and makes e identification with the distress energy even more intense...
3. label the thinking, to clarify the mental process and not getting caught up within the juicy details of my thinking...
4. residing in the physical sensations of the negative emotion itself, this is returning to the here and now, and if the energy of mindfulness is strong enough, the emotional distress may start to slowly break up and slowly dissolve into something not so solid not so frightening...
but of cse to expect the emotional distress to dissolve is an expectation itself,
so just watch the whole process with interest and see what happens...
what is this?

may all be well n happy,
deep bow...

new KYCL zen center

2010-11-13T21:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Frens,

another little advertisement to raise awareness,
that KYCL (Kwan Yin Chan Lin) under guiding teacher,
Gae Mun Sunim JDPS (Venerable Chi Boon)
are busy building the new zen center,
(see picture for the work in progress new building)
while the construction is making good progress,
they are still short of funds...

So to all my Dharma Frens out there, if u are able to,
do check out the KYCL website for more details on how u can help,
the completion of the zen center would be of benefit to many pple =)

Also when checking out the KYCL website do look out for:
the upcoming zen conference and workshop to be held
from 18 - 19 Dec @ Suntec City
that shd be an interesting event for all =)

may all be well n happy,
breathing in with awareness, breathing out with a smile,
one deep bow...

3 day retreat 24 - 27 dec in Dharma Drum Tradition

2010-11-11T07:52:00.000-08:00

dear frens,

coming end of year there will be a 3 day retreat at pao4 en1 shi4,
in the tradition of Dharma Drum Mountain (Master Sheng Yen's tradition)

doing a little advertisement for them =)

http://ddys.pixnet.net/blog/post/32865204

i am praying hard my schedule allows mi to join!
hope to see u there ;)

may all of u out there my dear frens,
reading my blog,
i sincerely wishes,
may u be well n happy always,
thanks for being my companions along the journey of life,
i am forever grateful for ur company...
a deep bow of gratitude
=)

smiling dwelling of the heart

2010-09-11T22:30:00.001-07:00

todae received the 5 mindfulness trainings together with other 250 brothers n sisters,
grateful for the opportunity to receive the trainings,
grateful for the new energy and encouragement to continue the spiritual practice n path,
on this path many ups n downs,
not be surprised more of such "rolling hills",
but as the zen saying goes "fall down seven times, get up eight"...

happy to receive the Dharma name "smiling dwelling of the heart"
my gosh... gotta smile more =p

sailing off in couple hrs for a 2 mth overseas deployment...
see ya soon,
may all be well n happy
may everyone awaken to e kindness n connectedness that is the essential nature of our hearts

breathing in... out... smile =D

Thay in S'pore 2

2010-09-10T07:43:00.000-07:00

today Thay gave dharma talk on awareness of feelings,
moving on from yesterday's talk on awareness of body...
1. awareness of joy
2. awareness of happiness

many ways to generate joy , happiness
a. letting go
so a story was told about a farmer with 3 cows, one day he lost them,
farmer was so distraught, stressed up n frustrated n felt like end of world,
Buddha told his disciples, "aren't u lucky u dun hav any cows to lose?"
so what are the cows that we are holding onto?
goodness, i think the farmer is pretty enlightened,
he onli got 3 cows, i think i got 1000 over =O kekeke
b. mindfulness energy

3. awareness of feelings, e.g. awareness of the fear/anger arising etc
know that our store consciousness contain many seeds,
negative ones like fear/anger etc,
conditions are ripe, they will arise,
practice means bringing up another seed from store consciousness,
seed of mindfulness,
use mindfulness to embrace fear/anger like a mother take care of her baby,
sayang sayang... take good care of it, n slowly transform the negative energy

4. releasing the tension from the feelings

breathing in, breathing out ahhh...

another nice relaxing day in retreat, recharging my spiritual batteries

may all beings be well n happy
kwan seum bosal =)

Thich Nhat Hanh in Singapore!

2010-09-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

Beginning yesterdae nite, 5 days retreat with Thay began...
its my 3rd retreat with the plum village tradition...
within few daes of advertising, >600 (i think) pple signed up n full hse!
wow!
i was put on waiting list n feel sooo fortunate to still make it for the retreat!
haha why am i typing this in middle of retreat?? =O
keke cause i am a stay out participant, so many pple lo,
PKS actualli dun have enough space for all of us =p

i am so grateful for this retreat for 3 reasons:
1. that i can actualli do a retreat with Thay in S'pore is such a miracle,
having benefited from his teachings thru the many books he wrote,
it just fills mi up with so much joy n gratitude that i can receive his teachings in person =D
2. that i can actualli get my fiancee (who is not a practicioner) to join e retreat keke
i hope she will enjoy n benefit from this retreat! =D
3. that again its timely, before my long overseas deployment, a chance to refresh n reinforce the energy of mindfulness n energy =)

today Thay focused on the teachings of mindfulness of the breath,
and he discussed the first 4 methods of practicing with the breath,

1. being aware of the in and out breath, with mental noting/gatha (breathing in/out)
to assist n support the mindfulness of the breath
2. following the breath, awareness of the entire flow of the breath, including the gaps in between the breathing in/out
3. awareness of the body, returning to the here n now n dwell in body sensations,
4. releasing tension from the body, taking good care of the body,
a nourishing and healing process indeed (thru the total relaxation method)

Sister Chan Kong led us through total relaxation and touching the earth practices,
so embarassingly, i was so tired that i feel asleep midway thru the total relaxation kekeke

it just so inspiring to have Thay and the many >30 monastics from plum village traditon to lead us thru this wonderful retreat =)
hope the mindfulness energy of the plum village will take root here in s'pore n tat more pple will benefit from this positive energy n practice =)
looking fwd to the 2nd day...

better go sleep now kekeke

happiness is here n now

2010-05-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

a year has passed since my first retreat under the guidance of venerables from plum village...
so timely to do a 2nd retreat under the same tradition =)

being free from silly pre-conceptions n beliefs this time round,
that "zen dun sing" etc haha
i find myself enjoying this retreat so much more =)
i actualli realli enjoy the singing sessions so much
and my favorite song is:
happiness is here n now

Happiness is here and now
i have dropped my worries
nowhere to go, nothing to do
no longer in a hurry

Happiness is here n now
i have dropped my worries,
somwhere to go, something to do
but i dun need to hurry

of cse unfortunately i can't literally sing it to u =p
if u noticed, the lyrics of each song deserve a dharma talk on its own =)

as a member of the organising comm,
i felt so paiseh that i could contribute so little due to the business of my work life...
i realli appreciate n grateful for the rest of the team who put in so much efforts to make this retreat happen n so wonderful, thank u my dear frens =D
but nevertheless coming to retreat, i just have to drop all these n enjoy da retreat keke

it was truly an "international event" with venerables n participants coming from all over the world,
argentina, france, germany, demark, canada, china, vietnam, indonesia, thailand, malaysia n s'pore...
its so wonderful to hear so many different languages n versions of the same songs that we sing during the singing sessions... cool =)

as i said during my entry for the previous retreat,
the approach from this school of zen is truly a different flavor of zen that i was more "used to"
little sitting (something personally i might wished for more),
nice long walks enjoying the present moment,
singing, dharma talks, discussions and even group presentations
its realli have the feel of more like a zen camp =)
but its truly refreshing and rejuvenating weekend for mi,
n help to strengthen the light of mindfulness within muh =)

been reading regularly Thay's books n i think i am benefiting more n more from his teachings,
his teachings so gentle so gently touching my everyday life =D
just breathing in breathing out, the miracle of mindfulness
share another favorite song related to this miracle
(is there such a thing as more than 1 favorite song? doesn't matter pls enjoy)
Breathing in Breathing out

breathing in breathing out
breathing in breathing out
i'm blooming as a flower
i am fresh as the dew
i am solid as a mountain
i am firm as the earth
i am free
breathing in breathing out
breathing in breathing out
i'm water reflecting what is real, what is true
and i feel there is a space
deep inside mi
i am free i am free i am free

a great way to start a dae

2010-01-21T04:02:00.000-08:00

Thich Nhat Hanh teachings are so beautiful inspiring n gentle.

let mi share a para:

every 24 hour dae is a tremendous gift to us.
so we all shd learn to live in a way that makes joy n happiness possible.
we can do this.
i begin my dae by making an offering of incense while followin my breath.
i think to myself that this dae is a dae to live fully,
n i make e vow to live each moment of it in a way that is beautiful, solid n free.
this takes onli 3 or 4 mins, but it gives mi great deal of pleasure.
u can do the same thing when u wake up.
breathe in n tell urself that a new dae has been offered to u,
n u hav to be here to live it

this is a wonderful alternate way to start a dae,
to begin a dae with mindfulness gentleness
to begin a dae with a vow to embrace life with mindfulness n gentleness

in contrast to my "normal half-awake start to a new dae",
before long i am sucked into a vortex of
"business, worries n concerns about life n work"
then b4 i know it its end of dae keke =p

1 day retreat @ KYCL

2010-01-16T06:40:00.000-08:00

did a one dae retreat @ KYCL over the weekend on sat.

its been couple of years since i last did retreat with KYCL!

the nite b4 we started with diamond sutra chanting n Shi Fu's Dharma talk,

went to bed at 10pm woke up at 4am,

n the day commenced with one period of meditation (40min)

followed by 108 prostrations,

another period of meditation

chanting then breakfast

work period, then 3 periods of sitting meditaton with walking meditation in between

then lunch then breathing exercise, another 3 periods of sitting meditation

then we ended with some sharing n then we returned home =)

good feeling to be back, most of the faces were unfamiliar/new =p

but there were couple old faces feels good to see them practicing so strongly,

its an inspiration, i hope to be able to join more often =)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
perhaps unsurprisingly, struggled mostly with drowsiness (after a tiring week)

but the 3 day retreat's postive spinoff were there,

aka my legs n back dun hurt as much haha

(still hurt of cse, esp that kwum um sch retreats has a lot more sitting compared to DDM/Plum V lineages)

caught myself drifting off most of time,

breathing in, out,

refresh myself n bring myself back to here n now, over n over again...

drifting off into wandering thoughts n drifting off into dreamland like state actualli not much different it seems

one makes the mind tense n scattered, e other brings e mind into a dull state (sometimes quite seductively comfortable haha)

but both are habitual means in which i try to run away from the here n now, escape from just this moment

depending on the level of energy at that moment...

n the method of practice is similar, to refresh myself n gently bring back to the present moment

just sitting...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
KYCL is struggling to raise funds to build the new zen center,

donated some more today, realli hope we can achieve the required funds soon,

the new center will realli be a much better n conductive center for practice

pray for the quick realisation of the new center

namu kwan seum busal

more reflections

2010-01-03T04:10:00.000-08:00

while the previous reflections were done during the retreat closing reflection period,
sometime striked me just minutes after the retreat... jus minutes yeah...

i had relatively good sittings by the third evening n fourth day morning,
much of the everyday anxieties were not troubling mi,
hence i left the retreat with a feeling of "lightness n ease"
but as soon as i switched on the hp... the world changed completely =p

something happened at work that had reprecussions all the way to top management
i was partially at fault for the mess that my ship got into,
failing to ensure XXXXXXXXXXXXX

anyway my mood turned dark like a thunderstorm that dropped out of nowhere
gone were the lightness n ease haha
immediately!!
there was a trememdous sense of dread...

but i must say thankfully at right time =)
during this time when the practice energy is relatively strong,
i could use the energy of mindfulness n cuddle the negative energy
like a mother showing tender care for the baby
cutting thru the dreadful thinking after it churned for couple minutes...
i was left with sharp n wrenching pain in my heart (literally)
no wonder i find myself falling sick often recently n in general poor health,
i have identified strongly with my work n take everything very seriously
with strong personal identification n much has accumulated...
many things went wrong at work in recent mths n its killing mi literally keke =p

returning to my breath,
breathing in breathing out...
paying attention to the pain in my heart...
showering mindfulness to it like mother to her child...
slowly the pain ease...
but i am sure it will come back again, mmm probably tmr haha
i hope i am ready =)

reflection on the above:

1. i realised that its realli realli impt for everyday practice n sangha practice to sustain practice energy, without sufficient mindfulness energy, i am jus no way able to walk out of the messiness without falling prey to the negativity and succumbing to my habit energies - coming to 2nd point

2. once i get suck into the vortex of dread and negative energy, i will act in unkind ways and bring more negative energy to pple ard mi =(
i still rem reacting out to my men after being sucked into this kind of vortex of negative energy after one recent episode...
muz quickly activate the "mindfulness mother to cuddle the negative baby" before the baby creates havoc =p
i hav just told this to one of my close fren at work n told him to remind me if he see me sucked into such vortexes haha
i pray for pple ard mi their well being, peace n happiness
may all beings be well n happy,
may the world experience peace n harmony
it all begins rite here,
within our heart and mind,
when we decide to unleash our negativity out to others or do we take good care of our negativity n return to clear mind n bring positive energy to this world?

reflections on the Chan Retreat

2010-01-03T03:06:00.000-08:00

felt that during large part of the year,
had been neglecting practice,
too caught up in the muddy waters of everyday work n life

realised daily formal practice really matters,
a couple of days without sitting n reading,
n i realised its hard to bring the mindfulness into things i do
also realised the importance of together practice (participating in a sangha),
a couple of weeks without group practice,
n i realised its hard to maintain the practice energy alone
n realised that practice energy is inversely proportional to amt of vexations haha

it is the dawn of a new year,
i am glad i spent it in a monastery,
regain a little practice energy
n get to renew my vows:
repentance vows - all evil/bad actions i did, i repent them all
bodhisattva vows - remembering practice direction is life centered not self centered, we practice to benefit everyone, all beings, not the little self
practice vows - holding onto our self-centered thinking, onli more suffering

finally i recall this admonition during the retreat:
This day has passed,
our lives too are closing,
like fish with little water
Joy will not last.
Let us work with pure effort,
work as we would were our heads aflame.
be mindful of impermanence.
be careful of idleness.

3 days Chan Retreat conducted by Guo Qi Fa Shi (of Dharma Drum Mountain)

2010-01-03T02:30:00.000-08:00

exactly 1 year hav passed since the last retreat by Dharma Drum,
this year i attended it as well (31 - 3 Jan)
n i am pleasantly surprised to see many retreatants from last year one returning,
it became a mini reunion for us to catch up =D
(but only before n after the retreat of cse, since this is a silent retreat aka no talking =))

i am so very grateful for the organisers and helpers that made this retreat possible, n of cse shifu Guo Qi Fa Shi and Chang Yuan Fa Shi, so grateful they came all way down from Taiwan,
thanks for keeping the Dharma alive =D

b4 going on to techniques, for those who wants to have a good feel of the retreat settings n schedule, pls see my good fren's vincent's blog, he does it so well n professionally, not like my ramblings haha:

http://vincenttraveljournal.blogspot.com/2010/01/dharma-drum-3-day-retreat-3112-0301.html

something on the techniques:

3 methods of meditation were taught:

1. counting/following breath (as used in previous retreat)
2. Silent Illumination (Mo Zhao)
3. Hua Tou

we were given a taste of the above methods (each day intro one method)
and at of day for us to decide which one is suited for us =)
i always been the "soto" type of guy (whatever that means hahaha)
so naturally silent illumination was what i fell in love with =p
so thats what i will touch on a little here...
- the method of silent illumination is the core meditation practice of the Cao Dong (Soto) school of Chan (Zen) also popularly known as Shikantaza (the japanese version).
It is somewhat of a method that combines both samatha (hence the word silence) and vipassana (hence illumination) into one, two aspects functioning at the same time,
sometimes it is also known as the method of no method (no particular object of meditation)

to my understanding,
the fundamentals of mo zhao is nothing more than this:
1. where the body is, the mind is there
2. be very clear about everything/anything that arises,
but don't be identified with it (qing4 qing4 chu4 chu4, bu2 zhai4 hu1)

that essentially means, see clear, hear clear (e.g. cars zooming by in the background), when thinking arises see that clearly also, etc,
but leave them alone, dun touch it, dun fix it,
our little mind aka ego keep wanting to get involved in things, comment on things, analyse, complain, fix it, basically playing ard with anything that arises in our mind,
which is unfortunately more interesting than mo zhao haha =p
so practice mo zhao means leaving it all alone and just sit =)
just sit, that's all =)
sounds simple, and it IS that simple =)
the simplest technique there is in da world, but when we do it, it may not seem so,
because our little minds can be sooooo complicated keke =)

to find out more about mo zhao
1. join one of Dharma Drum's Mo Zhao retreats
2. read Master Sheng Yen's Hoofprint of the Ox and Illuminating Silence

where does the buziness go?

2009-09-30T09:24:00.000-07:00

so buzy so buzy so buzy
crazy workin hrs, workin in wee hrs of nite, workin on weekends...
so buzy so buzy so buzy
haha oh no i am turning my blog into a zen mind complain mind blog keke =P
its so easy to lose myself in all the buziness
everything seems so impt...
everything seems so urgent...
everything seems so "muz do"
buzi little bee bzzzz...

its becoming a viscious cycle, more work more momentum to work more =P
less time meditate less momentum to sit down to meditate =P

bell sounds (u may refer to my earlier entry on mindfulness bell)
the world shatters...
breathing in... tension in the body, butterfly in stomach...
breathing out... releasing e tension, aircon humming in the backgrd...
what is this?
where is the buziness?
only big smile =D

realli the little practices like e mindfulness bell, 3 breaths practice etc (see earlier entries)
are realli so useful in daily life when buzi monster threatens to consumes whole being
the short practice breaks sprinkled over the dae (is there such a term?) are so welcome,
a serene pause between e insanity
waking up to the simple reality of just here just now,
just breathing in just breathing out =)

thinkin returns, so buzi so buzi so buzi
hahaha =)

where is the rat race?

2009-09-06T07:39:00.000-07:00

recently been so tied up with work,
time to do some reflection on a quiet sundae nite...

the faster i run towards my goals,
the deeper i get myself buried in work,
the further i get caught in the rat race,
the more concerned i become about my promotions n prospects...

the less serenity n peace i hav in my heart,
the more i fail to appreciate life,
the deeper the feel of unsatisfied...

so do i "give it all up" to get the serenity, peace n satisfaction in life?
i dun think so... =P
because we cannot run away from life,
life will always give us "just enough" problems n difficulties, no matter where we run to,
the challenge then,
is for mi to awaken aspiration - to rem to practice!
to awaken curosity - what is this? appreciate each moment of the seemingly routine life
to awaken humor - lol =P
to awaken loving kindness - to pple ard mi (i been near tippin point lately, been scoldin pple more than my usual dose =P) and to myself hahah

dinggggg...
sound of the bell...
cut off all opposites thinking,
returning to jus this moment,
breathing in breathing out, smile =D
doing something, just do it, 100%
then where is the rat race?

3 basic fears - losing safety, loneliness n unworthiness

2009-08-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

during yesterdae session with joyful garden sangha,
dharma discussion was about dealing with loneliness...
n i shared how i practiced (at least try to practice) with those undesired feelings of loneliness, mixed with other fears like losin safety net n unworthiness
(during a painful period when i broke up with my ex)

the inspiration that helped mi thru that "dark period" of my life
was from ezra bayda's teachings...
so here's an article by him that focus on jus this - practicing with our fears
i hope u will find it as inspiring as i did
breathing in... out... smile =)

http://www.zencentersandiego.org/global/File/articles/tricycle2009spring_fear.pdf

japanese garden wow

2009-08-23T05:34:00.001-07:00

todae did some informal walkin meditation @ japanese garden w the joyful garden sangha...
breathing in... breathing out...
just looking at the trees, greenery, lake n open space
wow...
speechless...
the garden is beautiful, has such a nice calmness, serene n peaceful feel to it =)
never knew japanese garden is like this haha =P
its nice that s'pore still has spots like this
offering that little bit of nature amidst the concrete jungle
bet i will be back to do more walking in the garden haha =)
mmm...
shd do more walks ard the scenic/nature spots ard our little island =)

mindfulness bell on laptop - it works! =)

2009-08-10T07:34:00.001-07:00

installed the mindfulness bell on my laptop yesterdae...
it works!

busi workin on laptop... type type
mindfulness bell... ding...
bow... 3 mindful breaths... breathin in breathin out =)
refreshing...

surfing net...
ding...
bow... 3 mindful breaths... residin in physical sensations...
feeling grounded...

playing game...
ding...
bow... 3 mindfuln breaths... woke up from e game...
wonderful =)

http://www.mindfulnessdc.org/index.html#clock

past present future

2009-08-08T02:01:00.000-07:00

time flies again haha
now back in s'pore...
the whole overseas depolyment of 4 mths is over...
where is it?
where is my seasickness?
where are all the sleepless nite shifts?
there are onli memory traces left...
fragmentary n incomplete...

brings to mind a saying from diamond sutra

the mind of the past is ungraspable
the mind of the future is ungraspable
the mind of the present is ungraspable

what is time?
is time real?
what is real?

when i was overseas i missed s'pore so much
now that i am back after a initial excitement
its back to old routine...
where has all the feelings gone to?

typing this entry into my blog on a lazy weekend...
yawnn... feeling a little tired...
maybe time for a nap?

zzz...

2 mths out at sea - onli breath in breath out smile =)

2009-06-05T13:05:00.000-07:00

time flies!!
i been 2 mths out at sea!
somewhere out in the roaring oceans
whooshhh...
ship rolls... ship pitches...
seasick alr =P

its so different experience n environment from home
working on shifts (sometimes workin thru the nite)
working on no ground (onli the moving platform on water)
no comfort food that i am used to back home
no weekends that i am used to go out on
even no meditation sessions to attend
breaking the norms of my "normal everyday life"
it can be realli tough at times (at least that's what my mind is screaming - ahhhh)
but after 2 mths out here, somehow, it seem normal in a "certain way"
so what is normal? my life now? or my life back in s'pore?
not knowing...
living moment to moment...
time for my nap...
zzz...

i pray for everyone's well being back in S'pore
and oh... i realli miss home... REALLI =P
but since i can't do anything about it now... (until ship sails home in 2 mth time that is)
well i guess the onli thing to do is...
breathe in... breathe out... smile... =)

deep breathe in... ... deep breath out... BIG smile =D

how to enjoy our practice (2)

2009-04-03T23:37:00.001-07:00

been busi lately, hence overlooked this blog for a while keke

will be introducing 2 other nice techniques/ways to enjoy our practice

1. bells of mindfulness - the plum village tradition employs this a lot, they will sound the bell in between activities and even during a dharma talk, for everyone to just relax our bodies and become aware of our breathing, doing it naturally with enjoyment and without being stiff or too serious about the whole thing...

another nice gatha - the ringing bell calling out to us:

listen, listen,
this wonderful sound brings me back to my true home

2. walking meditation - this is something most zen traditions do but interestingly the plum village tradition does it in what is probably the most natural way, enjoying each step we make.
walking at a pace we are comfortable with, we may want to bring awareness to both our breath and each step we make. listen to the birds, feel the cool breeze and walk peacefully gentlely...

yet another gatha:

breathing in "i have arrived"
breathing out "i am home"
breathing in "in the here"
breathing out "i am free"
breathing in "i am solid"
breathing out "i am free"
breathing in "in the ultimate"
breathing out "i dwell"

i sincerely hope all my frens out there are enjoying their practice, step by step... =)
wishing all well and happi always...

how to enjoy our practice

2009-03-24T03:31:00.000-07:00

the next few entries i will be sharing what i have learned from the plum village tradition's retreat =)

the essence of this style of practice - learning to enjoy ur practice =)
its about dwelling peacefully n happily in the present, learning to use the breath to bring ourselves back to life in the present moment, smiling n at ease...

i shall list 2 helpful techniques here, which actualli been sorta covered in my last entry haha

1. conscious breathing - this is probably the primary technique to help us (as is common with many other schools =))

we may like to recite

breathing in i know that i am breathing in
breathing out i know that i am breathing out

conscious breathing is the key to bringing our body n mind together and the energy to substain mindfulness from moment to moment...

2. use of gatha - there is plenty use of the gathas to help remind us to return to the present moment, here's one nice one

breathing in, i calm my body
breathing out i smile
dwelling in the present moment
i know this is a wonderful moment

these are deceptively simple techniques but trememdously effective means to enhance n enrich our spiritual practice, enjoy! =D

a different flavor of zen

2009-03-23T08:18:00.001-07:00

just completed a weekend retreat at PKS under the guidance of venerables from the Plum Village in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh...

one of the first activity was... singing!

my my, some of the first thoughts that went thru my head was - zen dun sing!
haha interesting narrow egoic definitions of what zen is or not ;)

could feel some resistance energy within...
letting go the thoughts, residing in the uncomfortable sensations
(i am not realli that enthu to sing at a zen retreat i suppose haha =P)
...then just doing it for the weekend =)

breathing in i smile =)

breathing out i relax ahh...

(one of the many many gathas Plum village like to employ in our practice)

ahhh.... it was a realli wonderful retreat loh =D
like a sundae morning breeze...
so gentle, so refreshing, so much loving kindness at the retreat =)
a truly different flavor of zen but i am loving it!
this style of practicing realli knows how to enjoy
reminds mi of the famous one liner -

present moment, wonderful moment =)

Waking up in the morning, i smile =)
knowing there are 24 brand new hours before me.
i vow to live fully in each moment,
and look at beings with eyes of compassion.
(another wonderful gatha)

thank u venerables for your wonderful teachings and sharings...
palms together, deep bow...

and oh another interesting note, one of the venerables was my JC schoolmate =O
what a small world, respect her for her devotion and dedication to the practice of wisdom and compassion, another deep bow...

sharing at Dana Citta

2009-03-07T05:45:00.000-08:00

did some sharing at Dana Citta today with the wonderful gang of kevin n co of the Om music workshop...

there was heavy rain pitter patter pitter patter
but it didn't dampen the spirits of the gp at all n we started off with some wonderful music playing =)
i later shared on mindfulness also did a simple raisins meditation,
n everyone had fun with the raisins =)
but next time i think i muz rem to remind pple not to gobble up the raisins the moment they are being passed the raisins haha =P

the group is using buddhist music to inspire spiritual practice, i think its wonderful work and fantastic music keep it up u guys =D
n i understand there's an upcoming concert so JIA YOU all the best =D
thanks for the opportunity to share =)
reminds mi to keep up my own mindfulness practice loh keke =P

Book Review - At Home in the Muddy water by Ezra Bayda

2009-02-27T22:29:00.000-08:00

finished reading Being Zen a while back (4th time reading it haha) and started on At home in the muddy water... the 4th time reading it as well =)

this is the companion volume to Being Zen (see my book review on it) and it continues in the same style - of sharing the teachings of zen practice and its application to our everyday life in unfancy, simple to understand language.

the book is divided into 4 parts:

part one Ezra reminds us what spiritual life is really about - the willingness to open ourselves to whatever life presents - no matter how messy or complicated... and also discuss the basics of practice - to cultivate awareness by clarifying our mental process and experiencing the physical reality...

part two he moves on to practicing with attachments, addictions and money

part three he discuss on relationships, trust issues, sexuality, forgiveness, dealing with loss...

part four he offers advice on how to enrich and strengthen practice in the messiness of our everyday living...

what makes this book highly recommended, such a valuable practice manual that make mi reread and reread (together with Being Zen) is that Ezra clarifies what practice is in a way that is so easily to appreciate and to put to the test in everyday living and also how to practice in the midst of a wide range of everyday concerns...

there's a verse that is recited during zen meditation retreats...

May we exist like a lotus,

At home in the muddy water,

Thus we bow to life as it is

unkindness

2009-02-27T22:08:00.000-08:00

as much as i would like to think of myself as a "kind person"...
paying attention to my life,
can't help but realise that i am jus holdin on to a "self image" that is ultimately untrue...

noticing the moments of unkindness to others...
catching the unkind thoughts, speech n actions in my life...
if mindful enough, may be able catch such negative energy "red handed"
(instead of being a post -activity reflection =P)

labeling the beliefs n thoughts that drive the unkindness...
experiencing the emotions and uncomfortable bodily sensations that accompany it...
if i could be realli mindful and attend fully to the unkindness, experiencing the "unkind energy" with precision n honesty, then may come to a point that the unkind energy "melts away", recognizing that it is just a combination of "unkind thoughts" (breaking indentification with the thoughts and hence able to drop the "unkind storyline") and intense bodily senstations and realise that the unkindness is "not all that real" either...

instead of calling myself "kind or unkind", i find it helps to just be mindful in everyday activities so that when unkindness arises i can pay attention to it and attend to it...
i think that only by attending to my unkindness that a more genuine kindness can then arises =)

lost in the world of worrying

2009-02-23T07:01:00.001-08:00

just a while back i was caught up in a whirlwind of worrying thoughts...
something actualli quite simple, quite straight forward
something gone wrong at work
and all i need was to do a few simple things...
instead of accepting things as it as n taking one step at a time,
- my mind kept spinning in "what ifs" and fear of consequences...
and i lose "orentiation", practice never occured to mi haha
spinning in the world of worry
- everything became gloomy like a dark cloud
that covers the sunlight n my entire world become dark...

then consulted a fren on the matter n something he said triggered a relief within mi...
suddenly i rem to breath haha
breathing in... 1... 2... 3...
residing in the uncomfortable bodily sensations...
then just taking one step at a time
taking care of one task... this... then move on to that...
was the world of worrying real??
if u say its not real, i may have growled at u growllll....
if u say its real, where is it now??
i dun know...
moment to moment trying to rem to just breath, just taking care of one thing at a time...

bad mood day =P

2009-02-20T04:30:00.000-08:00

today found myself in bad mood... much of the dae haha =P
probably past daes of accumulated busi work (still accumulating!! =P)
plus veri little sleep amt to lotz negative energy n emotions getting stored within...
was not even aware how much the negative state of mind was running my life...
until i became aware of couple of times of emotional reaction to things/people that normally would not have triggered my emotions at all...
how my emotions and bad mood colour my perceptions, thoughts and reactions!
how unkind i had been to people or events ard mi!
labelled my thinking when awareness came in, and stayed with the intense bodily sensations, there is so much negative energy coursing thru my body...
just had a sitting for 30 min, n much of the negative energy flowed on...
where is "my bad mood"? much like a bad dream...
today's experience of the whirlwind of emotions made mi taste the truth of impermanence a little more...

moment to moment - choosing to appreciate our life or to spin off into our self centered dream

2009-02-14T22:39:00.000-08:00

i was eating my favourite chicken rice halfway n realised i was "not eating my chicken rice" anymore but "eating my self-centered thinking" haha =P

how much of my life i spend in waking sleep,
choosing to spin off into my mental world of resenting e past, worrying about e future etc...
and how little attention is given to the activity at hand, where life is right here n now...

reminding myself to return to the present moment,
to the chewing of the rice, the taste in my mouth, the tension in my body, the noisy surroundings of the hawker center...
choosing to appreciate the present moment, which is to appreciate my life...

similarly in other everyday activities,
e.g. talking to a fren, how often i choose to dwell in my own opinions and judgements than to really listen... e.g. driving my car, how often i choose to worry about something than to give my full attention to the road...

choosing to spin off into my self centered dream i miss and shut off the most important thing in life, life itself...
by choosing to stay present, we can slowly move towards living a more open, more genuine, more sincere and appreciative way of life in gratitude of the little things in life...

so moment to moment - we can choose to to appreciate our life or choose to spin off in our self centered dream and shut off from our life... its our choice =)

All i can experience and work with is what my life is right now.

That's all i can do.

The rest is the dream of ego.

~ Charlotte Joko Beck

Book Review - Being Zen by Ezra Bayda

2009-02-08T21:27:00.000-08:00

i have read this book three times since 2002. And now i am reading it for the 4th time =)

Overall, what makes this book so valuable in my spiritual practice is the practical advice offered by the author on practicing in the messiness of our everyday living in our modern society. this book offers the nuts and bolts of everyday practice as a layperson (the author is a layperson himself, he received dharma transmission from Joko Beck - a Dharma heir of Taizan Maezumi Roshi)

the book is divided into 3 parts - the basics, practicing with emotional distress and awakening compassion.

part 1 - the basics - offers a close up look at how we are living our life. Are we seeing our difficulties as obstacles on our practice path or can we see them as the path itself? Then he goes into explaining the basics of practice - how to bring awareness into our life, how to shine the light of awareness on our conditioning and all its manisfestations. the technique of labelling and experiencing is especially helpful.

part 2 - seing emotional distress as the stuff of our practice path - this is a real gem, very rare that u will find a spiritual manual that explains with clarity and in detail on how to practice with all the emotional reactions that arises within us. working with our anger, fear, pain, distress are our practice path itself. i have found his advice immensely helpful as over the years, i have slowly but surely brought some light of awareness and understanding into these dark parts of my conditioning...

part 3 - awakening the heart of compassion - the practice of compassion and loving kindness that completes the picture of our practice. sharing his stories from his experience as a hospice volunteer, u will find plenty of heartfelt practical advice to integrate kindness and compassion into our practice...

Finally perhaps its the way Ezra Bayda writes, with clear language and simplicity, sometimes using his own stories to illustrate, that makes his teachings so accessible and helpful in my practice. This book is very much one of my "core textbook" in spiritual practice. Highly recommended reading to integrate practice into the messiness of our everyday life.

life and death is the grave matter

2009-02-08T02:42:00.001-08:00

another version of the verse "life and death is the grave matter"

life and death are of supreme importance.
time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost.
each of us should strive to awaken.
Awaken. take heed, do not squander your life.

verses like these help to remind mi
to keep up my spiritual practice - paying attention moment to moment, instead of spinning off
esp coupled with difficulties and obstacles in my life,
such verses reminds mi:
1. having received e spiritual teachings we shd not waste the opportunity to practice
2. esp in the face of impermanence n uncertainty in life
3. that my belief in "having/achieving/attaining such n such thing" in my life will give mi "true happiness" is ultimately not true at all
4. to learn to appreciate the people n little things in my life
5. to see things with more light-heartedness, n with loving kindness

nus buddhist society 30th anniversary lunch reflection

2009-02-07T05:03:00.000-08:00

today i had lunch @ nusbs 30th anni lunch, and was glad to meet up with fellow alumni and current students...
in one of discussion w xiao wei n gordon, we realised many who were once veri "onz" about buddhism n spiritual practice has turned away completely and refuse to hav anything to do with it anymore...
people i thought were much "more spiritual" than myself turning away from spiritual practice completely is kinda shocking...
but actualli upon reflection, i am not that consistent myself either, i myself hav found myself on occasions, conveniently forgotten about practice for weeks (or even mths!)
when in the midst of our busi and hectic everyday life sometimes our life situation can takes us over so completely (can be either bad or good situations),
that practice is totally erased from our mind...
or when we convince ourselves practice has no use/no meaning to our current life situation...
or maybe we dun see the point of practice anymore...
or maybe we have forgetten something veri basic in our life...
or maybe we need to remind ourselves of the reality of impermanence of everything and that ultimately we have no control over the things in our life...
for mi i hav found reciting the following verse (Practice Principles @ San Diego Zen Center) on a daily basis helpful in grounding myself...

Caught in the self-centered dream, only suffering.
Holding to self-centered thoughts, exactly the dream.
Each moment, life as it is, the only teacher.
Being just this moment, compassion's way.

Chan Master Sheng-yen pass away

2009-02-07T04:54:00.000-08:00

http://www.buddhistchannel.tv/index.php?id=48,7717,0,0,1,0

The Buddhist Channel, Feb 3, 2009

TAIPEI, Taiwan -- Taipei - Sheng Yen, one of Taiwan's four most respected Zen Buddhist masters, died of natural causes at the National Taiwan University Hospital Tuesday at the age of 79.
"He died of multiple organ dysfunction syndrome at around 4 pm (0800 GMT)," said a spokesman of the Dharma Drum Mountain, a Zen Buddhist centre established by the eminent monk.
Rated as one of Taiwan's 50 most influential people in 400 years, Sheng established the mountain retreat in Taipei County in 1989 to promote Zen Buddhism.
President Ma Ying-jeou said in a statement he was "saddened and shocked upon hearing the news" about the death of Sheng-yen, who the president said is "good at the use of language to touch people".
"The concept of spiritual conservation he advocated is not only religion but philosophy and attitude of living," Ma said, referring to the monk's relentless efforts to press for peace and a simple way of living.
"He was a highly valued and much respected master in Taiwan and we feel a big loss for his death," said Su Jun-pin, spokesman of Premier Liu Chao-shiuan.
The late master had hundreds of thousands of disciples, ranging from ordinary people to politicians and celebrities. Both incumbent President Ma Ying-jeou and his predecessor Chen Shui-bian sought advice from the master.

What is this?

2009-01-26T23:12:00.000-08:00

this is another technique that i find helpful in everyday practice, esp when something arises like an emotional reaction to a situation e.g. reacting to a statement that triggers our defense or anger or a physically painful situation e.g. dentist chair, injections, that demands a quick stepping out of our conditioned thinking to feeling the physical reality of the moment, no matter how painful it is, maybe physical discomfort in the body as e result of an emotion or real physcial pain. i think e spirit of this technique is to awaken an energy of investigation n curosity in the present moment...

we can't wake up simply by wishing to. without specific, ongoing effort we will continue to sleepwalk through our self-centered dream. Genuine awakening requires bringing attention repeatedly to the present moment of our life. one laserlike tool to help us do this is the practice of continually asking ourselves, "what is this?" Used in this way, the question becomes a koan, and as with all koans, the "answer" can never be conceptual. Don't try to analyze what the moment is about. instead, fully feel the texture of what your life truly is right now. the only real answer to the question, "what is this?" is your immediate experience itself.

~by Ezra Bayda extracted from his book "Saying Yes to Life"

the book "Saying Yes to Life" contains gems of wisdom ranging from page-long reflections to simple aphorisms that provides inspiration and invitation to go more deeply into the spiritual life...

Happi Lunar New Year!

2009-01-25T03:18:00.001-08:00

Just want to wish everyone a very happy lunar new year =)

let us make use of the turn of the new year to remind ourselves of whats important and renew our aspiration to practice...

time flies away quickly, another year has passed, what is not impermament?
do we understand our true selves beyond the story line of our self-centred dreams?
are we appreciating our precious life?
moment to moment, are we paying attention?

KATZ!

thank u for reading.
may the new year bring peace joy and happiness for everyone =)

Book Review - Illuminating Silence by Master Sheng Yen

2009-01-24T19:07:00.000-08:00

This is a book that i reread couple of times. the 3rd time i am reading now since buying it back in 2003. the book is a collection of Dharma talks given by Chan Master Sheng Yen to his students over the course of 2 retreats held in Wales.

the core of this book is as the title suggest - the method of silent illumination.
silent illumination is the core meditation practice of the Cao Dong (Soto) school of Chan (Zen) also popularly known as Shikantaza (the japanese version). It is somewhat of a method that combines both samatha (hence the word silence) and vipassana (illumination) into one, at the same time it is also known as the method of no method, because unlike most other methods of meditation, silent illumination has no particular object of meditation. confusing? read the book to find out haha =)

Reading this book u will feel like as if u are together on retreat with Master Sheng Yen. i enjoyed reading in this way - one talk one at a time after each sitting i done at home. its like as if i am on retreat, progress one day at a time, one talk at a time... reading it in this way i have found the talks inspiring and motivating for my continued practice.

The 2 retreats' talks are captured in 2 parts - one retreat one part

The first part focus particularly on the poem "calming the mind" and the feel of being on a retreat is most strong when u read this section (prob cause the talks in this section are not so much edited)

The 2nd part delves deeply into the practice of Silent Illumination. I have always felt an affinity for shikantaza/silent illumination type of meditation hence the love for this book.

But i must also emphasis that the talks are insightful not only because they present the method of Silent Illumination but also that it discuss in detail the general conditions, principles and attitudes for practicing.

The book also includes an autobiography of Master Sheng Yen and an introduction to Chinese Chan, esp as taught by Master Sheng Yen by John Crook, a Dharma Heir of Master Sheng Yen.

Great book if u want to have a taste of Chan as taught by Master Sheng Yen, and/or if u are interested in the Cao Dong/Soto style of practice =)

reflection on finding our direction in life

2009-01-16T23:37:00.000-08:00

yesterdae after work,
managed to squeeze time n showed up at yesterdae's dharma circle at NUS,
partly was intrigued by the topic - finding ur direction in life...

i think e Dharma Frens did a great job and i am sure many of us walked away with helpful insights n questions to further probe ourselves along finding the direction in our life...
thank u all =)

but i did think that maybe to make it even more useful is to link it more to our practice life...
i think i didn't share clearly my thoughts on this topic during the session,
maybe mind was too scattered haha

after a sitting later, with mind bit more calm n collected, feel that maybe it is beneficial to share using this forum...

i discussed during the dharma circle that i think of direction in life in terms of both "outer layer" and "inner layer".

outer layer is finding direction from forms e.g. career, money, fame, achievements, luxuries etc
inner layer is finding direction thru spiritual practice

outer layer direction may change over time, direction of our career, studies, volunteer work, marriage, family, etc.

outer layer is always about looking outside, guided by our wants and needs, on the level of the form and personal self "i my me", which ultimately is self-centered...
to think that we can find happiness on this level, well, it is possible but is that ALL?

maybe driven by our innermost desire to understand the meaning of life, or maybe a nagging doubt of "What am i?", or maybe jus a little taste of dukkha, or maybe a sudden realisation that we are caught up in a rat race that is ultimately meaningless, sets us seeking more than the outer direction mentioned above...

then we begin look inside, within ourselves, to try to find direction in life on a "inner layer", trying to find direction out of the messiness of our everyday life thru spiritual efforts - the path to awakening, the practice life...

slowly we begin on the path of breaking identification with our self-centered thinking, observing of our mind and building the willingness to be present and living a more genuine life grounded in increasing awareness n presence...

we may begin to realise that the practice life - perhaps consisting of formal and/or informal methods of meditation, is realli the onli way to a more genuine and fulfilling life... as the process slowly open up our heart and mind, as we slowly develop wisdom n compassion bit by bit...
we may begin to see the outer layer from a different perspective...

before, we may be very serious and uptight about the outer direction in our life,
we may think that we muz have this or that to be happy, we muz do this or that to be successful, we muz attain this and that to be okie...

but slowly we may begin to realise the outer layer is not that ALL important as we previously felt to be after all...

i am not suggesting giving up our outer layer direction of life, as we definitely need something at the outer layer for bread and butter reasons, and that it is also often meaningful and/or fun to pursue some of the things at outer layer...

but rather i am talking about the ability to be able to see them with a certain light-heartedness (sometimes we can be so serious that we become scary isn't it =P), with loving kindness (sometimes we can be so harsh on ourselves isn't it =P) and know that whether we succeed or not is ultimately okie...

also we may begin to realise that our difficulties on the outer layer are not obstacles but they are the inner spiritual path itself. then outer layer and inner layer become one... our everyday living becomes our practice life, relating to both unreasonable bosses or subordinates becomes practice, managing e difficulties at work becomes practice, observing and dissolving vexations at work n at home becomes practice...

joy may then arise from the pursuit of our outer direction of life, in whatever it may be, a meaningful career, volunteer work, relationship...
in ways guided by cultivation at the inner layer,
the quiet kind of joy, ease and peace that is unfathomable to someone who is onli aware of the level of the outer layer...

3 Kinds of Enlightenment: Substance, Truth and Function - a talk by Zen Master Dae Bong

2009-01-15T06:54:00.000-08:00

Taken from a Dharma Talk given by Zen Master Dae Bong during a retreat conducted in Singapore. Zen Master Dae Bong, a Zen Monk, received dharma transmission in April 1999. He began practicing with Zen Master Seung Sahn in 1977 and became a monk in 1984. Before studying Zen, he worked as a counselor in a hospital and as a welder in a shipyard. He has practiced and taught extensively in Zen Centers throughout the United States, Europe and Asia. He is currently living at Mu Sang Sa, Kye Ryong Sahn International Center in Korea

Many people who are interested in Buddhism think about enlightenment. In Zen sometimes we talk about 3 kinds of enlightenment. There’s 1st enlightenment, original enlightenment and final enlightenment. If you have interviews maybe you already understand. 1st enlightenment is perceiving our substance.
In the West there is a famous philosopher named Descartes. Descartes said “I think, therefore I am.” So that “I am”, that “I” is a thinking “I”, then Zen Master Seung Sahn always used to say “not thinking then what”. So that is the point. So if we are not thinking then what?
So this is our original substance. Before thinking is my true substance. My before thinking is my true substance, your before thinking is your true substance. Then your before thinking substance, my before thinking substance, the substance of the sun, the moon, the stars, all universe’s substance is the same substance.
So when you keep a mind that doesn’t know, when you keep a mind that has no thinking, that time you are the universe, the universe is you. That substance has no name no form. No life, no death.
So if we perceive our true nature, our true substance, then we have no life no death. Only body has life and death. True self has no life and death. This is just an physical example, but its like this. Ice, water, steam. Name and form are all different, function’s different. But everybody understands that the substance is the same, H2O. When ice melts, nobody cries, the ice has died! When water appears nobody says, the water is born! We know each of them is just changed form.
If we understand that point, then when we die crying is not necessary. When I first met the Zen Master, it was 1977. During a seven-day retreat, his heart suddenly has a big problem, it was missing many beats so he had to go to the hospital. That time people were afraid that he might die. Then I was really upset! I thought I finally found my teacher now he is going to die! So right before he went to the hospital, he came down to the meditation room to give a talk. Then I remembered very clearly, he began by saying: “I don’t have a problem, you have a problem.” “If you are attached to your teacher then you have a problem.”
And then he said, “Our body is just like a rented car. That is a “not me”. It is rented from universe. The rental agent is my father and mother. Then when you die you return the car to the universe. That time you must pay for the rental.” So he said, “So now my rented car has a problem, maybe soon broken, then return to the universe. Then get a new car, no problem. So if we are attached to this car then when we die we have a big problem. But if we find the driver, then when we die no problem. Driver continues get a new car.” So if we realize our true nature, then our mind is not suffering. The body may suffer, but the mind is not suffering.
So first thing Buddha said when he got enlightened was, “Amazing! Everything in this universe has this Buddha nature, has this substance.” So even when we are ignorance, we still have it. Just that we don’t recognize it. So 1st enlightenment is realize my true nature.
Original enlightenment means no subject no object, everything becomes one. When everything becomes one, you can see clearly, hear clearly, smell taste touch clearly. So outside is dark, inside is light. In the fields, the insects goes… That’s original enlightenment. See clear, hear clear, everything is clear. Sometimes we call that “truth” in our teachings.
Final enlightenment is one more step. You and everything, what is the correct function, what is the correct action? So you already understand. Cup and you drink. When somebody is thirsty, give them a drink. Somebody is suffering, help them. The name is final enlightenment. So these are just teaching words. Don’t hold on to these teaching words. Don’t check myself – did I get 1st enlightenment, original enlightenment or final enlightenment.
Sixth patriarch said, “When the Buddha has a moment of opposite thinking, then he is a sentient being. When a sentient being has a moment of clarity, he is a Buddha.” So moment to moment is most important. In our school, we say enlightenment is easy to get, but difficult to keep moment to moment. That means, it is easy to be clear one moment, but not easy to be clear moment by moment. So practice is very important.

Book Review - A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

2009-01-15T06:20:00.000-08:00

After reading Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now several years ago, (which is another highly recommended spiritual manual - in my earlier list of 20 readings) i am pleasantly surprised that although talking on the same subject matter, Eckhart Tolle manage to bring in new material and content that is inspiring and helpful to my practice in his new book A New Earth.

Eckhart Tolle is a contemporary spiritual teacher who is not aligned with any particular religon or tradition. but you will find him describing the subject matter like a true blue Zen Master ;)

Subject matter - The movement from unconscious (identification with our mind/ego) to the conscious (breaking free from ego/residing in awareness/presence), which is nothing but the essence of our spiritual journey. In A New Earth, the workings of the ego, that which blocks our true nature, is described with uncomplicated clarity. Then the author moves on to talk about moving away from ego into presence and awareness with equal clarity.

Highly recommended reading for all, i hope u will find it as helpful to your practice as i have found it =)

this day has passed...

2009-01-10T01:04:00.000-08:00

This day has passed.
Our lives too are closing,
Like fish with little water
Joy will not last.
Let us work with pure effort,
Work as we would were our heads aflame.
Be mindful of impermanence.
Be careful of idleness.

this is what's being recited as part of evening service at DDM
(n prob some other zen temples as well)

on a similar note, the following is recited at sesshins held at ordinary mind zen school:

Life and death is a grave matter
All things pass quickly away
Each of you must be completely alert
Never neglectful, never indulgent.

both serving as important admonition for all practitioners...
time is fleeting, appreciate this precious life n practice with diligence!

how dare he complain about mi!!

2009-01-09T07:13:00.000-08:00

my fren told mi that XXX complained about mi... how fast i jumped into the "defensive mode" and reacted with a emotional charged "counter-complaining"! how can XXX say that about mi, its unfair! to think that i did blah blah for him, and that i blah blah how can he blah blah...

anger creeped up on mi... totally identified with the angry thoughts

then sometime later awareness arise n i notice my reactions and ramblings in my head...

remembered to practice... labelled the complaining n angry thoughts... label "complaining about XXX complaining about mi"... seeing the thoughts for what they are, just thoughts...

returned to the present moment by residing in the physical sensations of the body... ooo... feeling e uncomfortable sensations in the chest n tension all over...

slowly e energy of anger pass... whew...
i realised i was not so different from XXX actualli haha =P
(well i ended up complaining about him as well!)

the above process consisted of (1) labeling - thought labelling (my complaining and angry thoughts) and then (2) experiencing - returning to the phyiscal reality of the present moment (one way is by residing in the physical sensations of the body)

i hav found this 2 step technique of labeling and experiencing
veri useful in everyday practice...
this technique is carefully spelt out, explained and clarified in
Ezra Bayda's book~ Being Zen: Bring Meditation to Life
i am realli grateful for this technique as many a times it helped mi break identification with my thinking which i usually hold on so tightly to, as if they are the absolute truth haha =P

...the most important thing is, whatever is past, just let it go. your mind should be like a mirror, not a camera. whatever goes into a camera is recorded there; the reflection in a mirror vanishes when the object moves away...

~Master Sheng Yen

sundae morning group sitting at DDM S'pore

2009-01-04T04:04:00.000-08:00

joined DDM S'pore (@ Duxton Rd) sundae morning group sitting 9 - 12 (consisting of yoga, sitting and walking meditation) ended with a short discussion on an article by Master Sheng Yen.

happy to have joined, energy of a group sitting is always different to sitting alone. group practice is a subtle but definite source of motivation to continue this long path of practice...

i find that in practicing alone (this i mean i live and work in an evironment where no one else practice) one of the bigger difficulties lies in Perseverance and Persistence (the lack of!): the ability to stick with practice through the ups and downs of our lives, to practice even when we don't feel like it. there certainly isn't a shortage of excuses! (to skip formal practice or resist staying with the present moment in everyday life)

Perserverance is no small thing, because at times our resistence can be very strong. Isn't it a fact that we often don't want to stay with the experience of the present moment for more than a few seconds? ...basically we learn that practice doesn't have to please us in the ordinary sense for us to continue practicing...

-Ezra Bayda

resolution - to attend the sundae morning sittings whenever my work schedule allows mi to!

3 breaths practice - 3 breaths at a time

2009-01-03T06:49:00.000-08:00

i find the following technique very useful in my everyday practice,
largely because it is so simple and easy to do it, even the ego is happy to go along with it ;)
the point of this practice is to extend a moment of awareness for 3 full breaths,
injecting a conscious pause in the middle of our waking sleep for 3 full breaths...

1... 2... 3...

http://www.zencentersandiego.org/global/File/Three_Breaths.pdf

walking sleep

2009-01-02T07:39:00.000-08:00

jus earlier on in the day, walking from e carpark to my office, i was totally absorbed in an incessant stream of thinking... body walking, mind thinking... not seeing not hearing... totally in a "walking sleep"... zzz...

then suddenly,

from e distant background a whistle sounds peeeeeeeeeee...

just hearing... momentary gap in the stream of thought...

feeling the movement of my feet, movement of my body, tension in my body, just seeing just hearing... relieved to hav woken up from my "walking sleep"...

yaWn...

whats e hurry?

pace slow down... peace each step...

instead of galloping about, we walk slowly, like a cow or an elephant... if u walk slowly, without any idea of gain, then u are alr a good zen student...

-shunryu suzuki roshi

New Year Resolution

2008-12-31T19:28:00.000-08:00

1. Reflect with gratitude to all those who have taught, helped and inspired mi along this path...
2. Appreciate life! moment to moment...
3. Practice diligently! moment to moment...

i have found the following verse helpful in motivating my practice (extracted from Zen Center of San Diego's website - the Zen Center's Zen Teachers are Ezra Bayda n his wife Elizabeth Hamilton)...

Caught in the self-centered dream, only suffering.
Holding to self-centered thoughts, exactly the dream.
Each moment, life as it is, the only teacher.
Being just this moment, compassion's way.

Zen Reading List

2008-12-31T07:52:00.000-08:00

over the course of my spiritual journey, i had read quite a number of books and i have consolidated a list of 20 books that really made a impact on my practice and i have listed them in amazon.com, do go check them out =)

http://www.amazon.com/Yet-nbsp-another-nbsp-Zen-nbsp-Reading-nbsp-List/lm/R208TIN15WK0R7/ref=cm_srch_res_rpli_alt_1

Book Review - Zen Heart by Ezra Bayda

2008-12-31T07:44:00.000-08:00

An exceptionally clear and comprehensive manual on spiritual practice.

I have read Ezra's other 2 books "Being Zen" and "At home in the Muddy Waters" and had found the techniques learned from them helpful in extending my spiritual practice beyond the meditation cushion into everyday living.

"Zen Heart" is in the same spirit and i would say even better! In "Zen Heart", besides offering a wealth of practical advice for extending practice beyond our meditation cushion, Ezra also provides a roadmap by breaking down practice into 3 overlapping phases - the me phase, being awareness and being kindness phases. The Me Phase, in which we uncover deeply held beliefs about ourselves, observe our emotions and fears. Being Awareness, in which we cultivate a sense of life-as-it-is, waking up from the "story-line of me" into a more spacious sense of being. Being Kindness, in which we connect with the love that is our true nature, and learning to live from that place of natural loving kindness and compassion.

I think that this roadmap is a very useful guide that help to clarify and de-mystify the whole process and dynamics of spiritual practice. Each of these phases describes a particular inner process that each of us must go through on our spiritual journey and all 3 are essential components that makes up a complete practice.

I regard Ezra as my teacher, through his books, writings and am in deep gratitude to what i have learnt from him over the past couple years from his earliest publication "Being Zen" to this latest one "Zen Heart". This is a book, that I would recommend to everyone keen on deepening his/her own spirituality.

3 days chan retreat conducted by Guo Yi Fa Shi (of Dharma Drum Mountain)

2008-12-31T06:27:00.000-08:00

Happy to be able to spend the X'mas period on a retreat (25-28th)

Besides sitting meditation,
there was walking meditation, chanting, yoga, work practice...

and even morning/evening movies too haha =P (actually they are lectures by Chan Master Sheng Yen shown on DVD)

All we need to do was to remember this verse,

"Where the body is, the mind is there"

that's all, simple isn't it? =)

But my ego doesn't like that, my little mind keeps trying to escape from the present moment, resist things-as-it-is or to make something special out this ordinary moment...

so moment to moment, i watched my little mind play out little episodes of drama...

sometimes the little mind has enough of the ramblings and there was just the simple moment of just sitting, just walking, just doing yoga without all the commentary but too bad, the peaceful moments came too little too late and it was time to go home haha =P

introduction

2008-12-30T06:38:00.000-08:00

This blog is the ramblings of a zen student from the little island of Singapore.

it all began 10 years ago with an innocent question,

"what is the meaning of life?"

that was during my national service daes...

faced with impermanence and uncertainties staring straight into my face, the question only grew stronger...

then when i began studies in NUS, i explored the possibilities and answers to this question.

i picked up the book by Zen Master Seung Sahn "Dropping ashes on the Buddha", was inspired and began the spiritual journey of zen practice ever since...

10 years have passed since then,

i decided to start blogging on the spiritual journey

partly inspired by pei fen who started blogging too haha =P

also to encourage myself to practice more diligently

to share my thoughts and reflections along the long practice path...