4 kinds of working with my emotional difficulties

I made an interesting observation recently with regards to my practice working with my everyday emotional difficulties.  There seem to be 4 kinds:

1. Those of the very mild variant, like maybe when someone cut my queue.  Mere Recognition of the thoughts arising would suffice to dissolve the emotion and prevent a self-centred drama from developing...

2. Those slightly stronger ones, or even mild ones, but were discovered a little late when a short self-centred drama has already been developed.  After recognition, a long out-breath with a "sighhh" seems to release the tension completely...

3.  Sometimes the emotions were stronger and the urge to play out the drama were strong.  I find it useful to Refrain from continuing the thought train and Return to the moment, focusing on the experience of uncomfortable physical sensations in the body.  Grounding myself in body awareness is a useful practice...

4. Sometimes it can be just too overwhelming and all I can do was to do my best to not escalate the drama and emotions.  Just breathing in, breathing out...riding out the storm...

And then there were many times when mindfulness was simply absent throughout the emotional drama and habitual tendencies took over completely.
The only thing I can do was to forgive myself as an after thought =P

More mindfulness needed!

May all of us continue to enjoy our practice and be well and happy =)

Why do I meditate?

When asked this question, I think my answer evolved and changed over the years.  It will also differ dependent whether if the person asking is involved in spiritual practice as well.

Anyway, when asked this question today, my answer goes something like this:

First, I meditate to refresh my mind.
It helps to relieve stress and therefore better cope with the challenges of everyday living. 
Our mind is like a calculator whereby it adds numbers after numbers and we can get overwhelmed. 
Meditating is hitting the clear button on the calculator, and our mind gets refreshed =)  

Second, more deeply, it helps me to connect with our basic goodness. 
When faced with difficult situations and emotions, like dark clouds during a thunderstorm, my mind can become very dark and narrow, leading to doing, saying or thinking stupid things. 
Meditation helps to put things into perspective, reminding me that the thunderstorm is temporary (this too will pass) while our basic goodness, like the sun, is always present, thunderstorm or not. 
 
May all of us continue to enjoy our practice and be well and happy =)

Peace, No peace, Coming, Going...

Today I did a one day silent retreat with the Ordinary Mind Zen Group @ Mercy Place.
I am very grateful to Gregg and the Zen group for the wonderful opportunity to intensify my practice...deep bow...

In between wandering thoughts and drowsiness, there were short moments of relative silence as well, letting go of my thinking, just hearing the air-con, just breathing in, out on my cushion or during breaks, just hearing the birds chirping, just looking at the greenery...
Ahhhh... Silence... Stillness...  Peace...

The retreat was from 9 - 5pm.
After which we went home.

After returning to the muddy waters of everyday life, over the most trivial matters, irritation and frustration took over me.  I went into unconscious reactions and negativities...
Grrrr.... Spinning storylines... Uncomfortable physical sensations... No Peace...

Anyway, luckily impermanence came to my rescue and the storm was over.
I forgive myself for not being at peace =)

May all of us continue to enjoy our practice and be well and happy =)

Seeing Negativity as Reminders to Practice

Negativity arises throughout my daily living, ranging from little ones like irritation or impatience to big ones like anger outbursts and depressions.
Question is whether I am able to see the arising of negativity as reminders to practice?
Often negativity is a sign that I am holding onto some self-centred thoughts, hence they offer great opportunities for spiritual practice and possibility of insight into the roots of some of my usual vexations.
Question is whether I am able to perceive clearly what is actually happening, see clearly the facts of the life situation, the storyline I spin around the life situation and the uncomfortable physical sensations that accompany the storyline?
I have found working with little ones like irritation useful as they "prepare" me for the bigger ones like emotional outbursts.  Intense emotions can be quite overwhelming and just staying with the physical sensations can be a real challenge! 

Here is something from Eckhart Tolle that I find useful:

Use negativity as a kind of signal that reminds you to be more present.
Whenever you feel negativity arising within you, look on it as a voice saying,
"Attention. Here and now. Wake up. Get out of your mind. Be present."
You may be able to just drop it once you realise this energy field inside you and that it serves no purpose.
If you cannot drop it, just accept that it is there and take your attention into the feeling (physical sensations).

~Eckhart Tolle

May all of us continue to enjoy our practice and be well and happy =)