3 days Chan Retreat conducted by Guo Qi Fa Shi (of Dharma Drum Mountain)

exactly 1 year hav passed since the last retreat by Dharma Drum,
this year i attended it as well (31 - 3 Jan)
n i am pleasantly surprised to see many retreatants from last year one returning,
it became a mini reunion for us to catch up =D
(but only before n after the retreat of cse, since this is a silent retreat aka no talking =))

i am so very grateful for the organisers and helpers that made this retreat possible, n of cse shifu Guo Qi Fa Shi and Chang Yuan Fa Shi, so grateful they came all way down from Taiwan,
thanks for keeping the Dharma alive =D

b4 going on to techniques, for those who wants to have a good feel of the retreat settings n schedule, pls see my good fren's vincent's blog, he does it so well n professionally, not like my ramblings haha:

http://vincenttraveljournal.blogspot.com/2010/01/dharma-drum-3-day-retreat-3112-0301.html

something on the techniques:

3 methods of meditation were taught:

1. counting/following breath (as used in previous retreat)
2. Silent Illumination (Mo Zhao)
3. Hua Tou

we were given a taste of the above methods (each day intro one method)
and at of day for us to decide which one is suited for us =)
i always been the "soto" type of guy (whatever that means hahaha)
so naturally silent illumination was what i fell in love with =p
so thats what i will touch on a little here...
- the method of silent illumination is the core meditation practice of the Cao Dong (Soto) school of Chan (Zen) also popularly known as Shikantaza (the japanese version).
It is somewhat of a method that combines both samatha (hence the word silence) and vipassana (hence illumination) into one, two aspects functioning at the same time,
sometimes it is also known as the method of no method (no particular object of meditation)

to my understanding,
the fundamentals of mo zhao is nothing more than this:
1. where the body is, the mind is there
2. be very clear about everything/anything that arises,
but don't be identified with it (qing4 qing4 chu4 chu4, bu2 zhai4 hu1)

that essentially means, see clear, hear clear (e.g. cars zooming by in the background), when thinking arises see that clearly also, etc,
but leave them alone, dun touch it, dun fix it,
our little mind aka ego keep wanting to get involved in things, comment on things, analyse, complain, fix it, basically playing ard with anything that arises in our mind,
which is unfortunately more interesting than mo zhao haha =p
so practice mo zhao means leaving it all alone and just sit =)
just sit, that's all =)
sounds simple, and it IS that simple =)
the simplest technique there is in da world, but when we do it, it may not seem so,
because our little minds can be sooooo complicated keke =)


to find out more about mo zhao
1. join one of Dharma Drum's Mo Zhao retreats
2. read Master Sheng Yen's Hoofprint of the Ox and Illuminating Silence

where does the buziness go?

so buzy so buzy so buzy
crazy workin hrs, workin in wee hrs of nite, workin on weekends...
so buzy so buzy so buzy
haha oh no i am turning my blog into a zen mind complain mind blog keke =P
its so easy to lose myself in all the buziness
everything seems so impt...
everything seems so urgent...
everything seems so "muz do"
buzi little bee bzzzz...

its becoming a viscious cycle, more work more momentum to work more =P
less time meditate less momentum to sit down to meditate =P

bell sounds (u may refer to my earlier entry on mindfulness bell)
the world shatters...
breathing in... tension in the body, butterfly in stomach...
breathing out... releasing e tension, aircon humming in the backgrd...
what is this?
where is the buziness?
only big smile =D

realli the little practices like e mindfulness bell, 3 breaths practice etc (see earlier entries)
are realli so useful in daily life when buzi monster threatens to consumes whole being
the short practice breaks sprinkled over the dae (is there such a term?) are so welcome,
a serene pause between e insanity
waking up to the simple reality of just here just now,
just breathing in just breathing out =)

thinkin returns, so buzi so buzi so buzi
hahaha =)

where is the rat race?

recently been so tied up with work,
time to do some reflection on a quiet sundae nite...

the faster i run towards my goals,
the deeper i get myself buried in work,
the further i get caught in the rat race,
the more concerned i become about my promotions n prospects...

the less serenity n peace i hav in my heart,
the more i fail to appreciate life,
the deeper the feel of unsatisfied...

so do i "give it all up" to get the serenity, peace n satisfaction in life?
i dun think so... =P
because we cannot run away from life,
life will always give us "just enough" problems n difficulties, no matter where we run to,
the challenge then,
is for mi to awaken aspiration - to rem to practice!
to awaken curosity - what is this? appreciate each moment of the seemingly routine life
to awaken humor - lol =P
to awaken loving kindness - to pple ard mi (i been near tippin point lately, been scoldin pple more than my usual dose =P) and to myself hahah

dinggggg...
sound of the bell...
cut off all opposites thinking,
returning to jus this moment,
breathing in breathing out, smile =D
doing something, just do it, 100%
then where is the rat race?

3 basic fears - losing safety, loneliness n unworthiness

during yesterdae session with joyful garden sangha,
dharma discussion was about dealing with loneliness...
n i shared how i practiced (at least try to practice) with those undesired feelings of loneliness, mixed with other fears like losin safety net n unworthiness
(during a painful period when i broke up with my ex)

the inspiration that helped mi thru that "dark period" of my life
was from ezra bayda's teachings...
so here's an article by him that focus on jus this - practicing with our fears
i hope u will find it as inspiring as i did
breathing in... out... smile =)

http://www.zencentersandiego.org/global/File/articles/tricycle2009spring_fear.pdf

japanese garden wow

todae did some informal walkin meditation @ japanese garden w the joyful garden sangha...
breathing in... breathing out...
just looking at the trees, greenery, lake n open space
wow...
speechless...
the garden is beautiful, has such a nice calmness, serene n peaceful feel to it =)
never knew japanese garden is like this haha =P
its nice that s'pore still has spots like this
offering that little bit of nature amidst the concrete jungle
bet i will be back to do more walking in the garden haha =)
mmm...
shd do more walks ard the scenic/nature spots ard our little island =)

mindfulness bell on laptop - it works! =)

installed the mindfulness bell on my laptop yesterdae...
it works!

busi workin on laptop... type type
mindfulness bell... ding...
bow... 3 mindful breaths... breathin in breathin out =)
refreshing...

surfing net...
ding...
bow... 3 mindful breaths... residin in physical sensations...
feeling grounded...

playing game...
ding...
bow... 3 mindfuln breaths... woke up from e game...
wonderful =)

http://www.mindfulnessdc.org/index.html#clock

past present future

time flies again haha
now back in s'pore...
the whole overseas depolyment of 4 mths is over...
where is it?
where is my seasickness?
where are all the sleepless nite shifts?
there are onli memory traces left...
fragmentary n incomplete...

brings to mind a saying from diamond sutra

the mind of the past is ungraspable
the mind of the future is ungraspable
the mind of the present is ungraspable

what is time?
is time real?
what is real?

when i was overseas i missed s'pore so much
now that i am back after a initial excitement
its back to old routine...
where has all the feelings gone to?

typing this entry into my blog on a lazy weekend...
yawnn... feeling a little tired...
maybe time for a nap?

zzz...