a great way to start a dae

Thich Nhat Hanh teachings are so beautiful inspiring n gentle.

let mi share a para:

every 24 hour dae is a tremendous gift to us.
so we all shd learn to live in a way that makes joy n happiness possible.
we can do this.
i begin my dae by making an offering of incense while followin my breath.
i think to myself that this dae is a dae to live fully,
n i make e vow to live each moment of it in a way that is beautiful, solid n free.
this takes onli 3 or 4 mins, but it gives mi great deal of pleasure.
u can do the same thing when u wake up.
breathe in n tell urself that a new dae has been offered to u,
n u hav to be here to live it

this is a wonderful alternate way to start a dae,
to begin a dae with mindfulness gentleness
to begin a dae with a vow to embrace life with mindfulness n gentleness

in contrast to my "normal half-awake start to a new dae",
before long i am sucked into a vortex of
"business, worries n concerns about life n work"
then b4 i know it its end of dae keke =p

1 day retreat @ KYCL

did a one dae retreat @ KYCL over the weekend on sat.

its been couple of years since i last did retreat with KYCL!

the nite b4 we started with diamond sutra chanting n Shi Fu's Dharma talk,

went to bed at 10pm woke up at 4am,

n the day commenced with one period of meditation (40min)

followed by 108 prostrations,

another period of meditation

chanting then breakfast

work period, then 3 periods of sitting meditaton with walking meditation in between

then lunch then breathing exercise, another 3 periods of sitting meditation

then we ended with some sharing n then we returned home =)

good feeling to be back, most of the faces were unfamiliar/new =p

but there were couple old faces feels good to see them practicing so strongly,

its an inspiration, i hope to be able to join more often =)
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perhaps unsurprisingly, struggled mostly with drowsiness (after a tiring week)

but the 3 day retreat's postive spinoff were there,

aka my legs n back dun hurt as much haha

(still hurt of cse, esp that kwum um sch retreats has a lot more sitting compared to DDM/Plum V lineages)

caught myself drifting off most of time,

breathing in, out,

refresh myself n bring myself back to here n now, over n over again...

drifting off into wandering thoughts n drifting off into dreamland like state actualli not much different it seems

one makes the mind tense n scattered, e other brings e mind into a dull state (sometimes quite seductively comfortable haha)

but both are habitual means in which i try to run away from the here n now, escape from just this moment

depending on the level of energy at that moment...

n the method of practice is similar, to refresh myself n gently bring back to the present moment

just sitting...
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KYCL is struggling to raise funds to build the new zen center,

donated some more today, realli hope we can achieve the required funds soon,

the new center will realli be a much better n conductive center for practice

pray for the quick realisation of the new center

namu kwan seum busal

more reflections

while the previous reflections were done during the retreat closing reflection period,
sometime striked me just minutes after the retreat... jus minutes yeah...

i had relatively good sittings by the third evening n fourth day morning,
much of the everyday anxieties were not troubling mi,
hence i left the retreat with a feeling of "lightness n ease"
but as soon as i switched on the hp... the world changed completely =p

something happened at work that had reprecussions all the way to top management
i was partially at fault for the mess that my ship got into,
failing to ensure XXXXXXXXXXXXX

anyway my mood turned dark like a thunderstorm that dropped out of nowhere
gone were the lightness n ease haha
immediately!!
there was a trememdous sense of dread...

but i must say thankfully at right time =)
during this time when the practice energy is relatively strong,
i could use the energy of mindfulness n cuddle the negative energy
like a mother showing tender care for the baby
cutting thru the dreadful thinking after it churned for couple minutes...
i was left with sharp n wrenching pain in my heart (literally)
no wonder i find myself falling sick often recently n in general poor health,
i have identified strongly with my work n take everything very seriously
with strong personal identification n much has accumulated...
many things went wrong at work in recent mths n its killing mi literally keke =p

returning to my breath,
breathing in breathing out...
paying attention to the pain in my heart...
showering mindfulness to it like mother to her child...
slowly the pain ease...
but i am sure it will come back again, mmm probably tmr haha
i hope i am ready =)

reflection on the above:

1. i realised that its realli realli impt for everyday practice n sangha practice to sustain practice energy, without sufficient mindfulness energy, i am jus no way able to walk out of the messiness without falling prey to the negativity and succumbing to my habit energies - coming to 2nd point

2. once i get suck into the vortex of dread and negative energy, i will act in unkind ways and bring more negative energy to pple ard mi =(
i still rem reacting out to my men after being sucked into this kind of vortex of negative energy after one recent episode...
muz quickly activate the "mindfulness mother to cuddle the negative baby" before the baby creates havoc =p
i hav just told this to one of my close fren at work n told him to remind me if he see me sucked into such vortexes haha
i pray for pple ard mi their well being, peace n happiness
may all beings be well n happy,
may the world experience peace n harmony
it all begins rite here,
within our heart and mind,
when we decide to unleash our negativity out to others or do we take good care of our negativity n return to clear mind n bring positive energy to this world?

reflections on the Chan Retreat

felt that during large part of the year,
had been neglecting practice,
too caught up in the muddy waters of everyday work n life

realised daily formal practice really matters,
a couple of days without sitting n reading,
n i realised its hard to bring the mindfulness into things i do
also realised the importance of together practice (participating in a sangha),
a couple of weeks without group practice,
n i realised its hard to maintain the practice energy alone
n realised that practice energy is inversely proportional to amt of vexations haha

it is the dawn of a new year,
i am glad i spent it in a monastery,
regain a little practice energy
n get to renew my vows:
repentance vows - all evil/bad actions i did, i repent them all
bodhisattva vows - remembering practice direction is life centered not self centered, we practice to benefit everyone, all beings, not the little self
practice vows - holding onto our self-centered thinking, onli more suffering

finally i recall this admonition during the retreat:
This day has passed,
our lives too are closing,
like fish with little water
Joy will not last.
Let us work with pure effort,
work as we would were our heads aflame.
be mindful of impermanence.
be careful of idleness.

3 days Chan Retreat conducted by Guo Qi Fa Shi (of Dharma Drum Mountain)

exactly 1 year hav passed since the last retreat by Dharma Drum,
this year i attended it as well (31 - 3 Jan)
n i am pleasantly surprised to see many retreatants from last year one returning,
it became a mini reunion for us to catch up =D
(but only before n after the retreat of cse, since this is a silent retreat aka no talking =))

i am so very grateful for the organisers and helpers that made this retreat possible, n of cse shifu Guo Qi Fa Shi and Chang Yuan Fa Shi, so grateful they came all way down from Taiwan,
thanks for keeping the Dharma alive =D

b4 going on to techniques, for those who wants to have a good feel of the retreat settings n schedule, pls see my good fren's vincent's blog, he does it so well n professionally, not like my ramblings haha:

http://vincenttraveljournal.blogspot.com/2010/01/dharma-drum-3-day-retreat-3112-0301.html

something on the techniques:

3 methods of meditation were taught:

1. counting/following breath (as used in previous retreat)
2. Silent Illumination (Mo Zhao)
3. Hua Tou

we were given a taste of the above methods (each day intro one method)
and at of day for us to decide which one is suited for us =)
i always been the "soto" type of guy (whatever that means hahaha)
so naturally silent illumination was what i fell in love with =p
so thats what i will touch on a little here...
- the method of silent illumination is the core meditation practice of the Cao Dong (Soto) school of Chan (Zen) also popularly known as Shikantaza (the japanese version).
It is somewhat of a method that combines both samatha (hence the word silence) and vipassana (hence illumination) into one, two aspects functioning at the same time,
sometimes it is also known as the method of no method (no particular object of meditation)

to my understanding,
the fundamentals of mo zhao is nothing more than this:
1. where the body is, the mind is there
2. be very clear about everything/anything that arises,
but don't be identified with it (qing4 qing4 chu4 chu4, bu2 zhai4 hu1)

that essentially means, see clear, hear clear (e.g. cars zooming by in the background), when thinking arises see that clearly also, etc,
but leave them alone, dun touch it, dun fix it,
our little mind aka ego keep wanting to get involved in things, comment on things, analyse, complain, fix it, basically playing ard with anything that arises in our mind,
which is unfortunately more interesting than mo zhao haha =p
so practice mo zhao means leaving it all alone and just sit =)
just sit, that's all =)
sounds simple, and it IS that simple =)
the simplest technique there is in da world, but when we do it, it may not seem so,
because our little minds can be sooooo complicated keke =)


to find out more about mo zhao
1. join one of Dharma Drum's Mo Zhao retreats
2. read Master Sheng Yen's Hoofprint of the Ox and Illuminating Silence