Day of Mindfulness (DOM)

Today joyful garden sangha we held a day of mindfulness @ pao ern shih...
it was great to see so many (70) pple motivated to practice for a day together,
realli appreciative of the strong collective energy =)

programme was
walking meditation followed by a Dharma talk by Thay (DVD) on the Brahmaviharas - loving kindness, compassion, joy and inclusiveness (amounting to true love =))
then a veri nice lunch courtesy of pao ern shih yum yum =p
afterwhich we did total relaxation, dharma discussion, sitting meditation, 5 mindfulness trainings recitation and wrapping up b4 going home =)

a meaningful day indeed =)

had this short discussion on laziness with regards to practice...
shared my own experience,
that i see it somewhat like the stock market =p
sometimes bull run (when the postive energy to practice is strong)
sometimes bear mkt (when laziness n resistance to practice sets in)
often i realise the trigger for a bull run,
more often than not, is the attendance of a retreat,
be it a one day DOM, 3 day/ 5 days retreats,
the important thing is probably the collective energy of the retreat of all retreatants,
set off within myself the positive energy to put in jus that little extra effort into practice...

that little extra energy to perserve with daily sittings...
extra energy to remember to do conscious breathing, mindful walking, loving speech deep listening etc during everyday life...
that little extra energy to rem to refrain from manifestation of emotional reactions n rtn to the physical sensations etc...

thank u my spiritual frens,
for bringing about the "bull runs" =)

sincerely yours,
ur lazy zen student =P

working with emotional distress

i think hardly a day passes without some kind of emotional distress arising,
big or small, work related or personal life related...
be it anger, irritation, frustration etc etc etc

here's a line from ezra bayda that puts emotional distress into perspective,
practice perspective...

...emotional distress is a signal that we are experiencing life through the filter of an ideal, a picture or an expectation...

if there's enough mindfulness on that day on that occasion,
i might... just might rem to practice with the emotional distress =p
usually this is possible when i rem to do conscious breathing...

some steps that u might find helpful in such situations...
1. becoming aware of the distress energy arising within, breathing in breathing out,
thru conscious breathing, i might just be able to loosen my identification with the distress related thoughts a little, open up my mind a little and bring a practice perspective to the whole situation
2. refrain from my normal emotional reactions, be it justifications thru more thinking, blaming/lashing out at others or suppression within... all these of cse fuel more energy to the distress and makes e identification with the distress energy even more intense...
3. label the thinking, to clarify the mental process and not getting caught up within the juicy details of my thinking...
4. residing in the physical sensations of the negative emotion itself, this is returning to the here and now, and if the energy of mindfulness is strong enough, the emotional distress may start to slowly break up and slowly dissolve into something not so solid not so frightening...
but of cse to expect the emotional distress to dissolve is an expectation itself,
so just watch the whole process with interest and see what happens...
what is this?

may all be well n happy,
deep bow...

3 day retreat 24 - 27 dec in Dharma Drum Tradition

dear frens,

coming end of year there will be a 3 day retreat at pao4 en1 shi4,
in the tradition of Dharma Drum Mountain (Master Sheng Yen's tradition)

doing a little advertisement for them =)

http://ddys.pixnet.net/blog/post/32865204

i am praying hard my schedule allows mi to join!
hope to see u there ;)

may all of u out there my dear frens,
reading my blog,
i sincerely wishes,
may u be well n happy always,
thanks for being my companions along the journey of life,
i am forever grateful for ur company...
a deep bow of gratitude
=)

smiling dwelling of the heart

todae received the 5 mindfulness trainings together with other 250 brothers n sisters,
grateful for the opportunity to receive the trainings,
grateful for the new energy and encouragement to continue the spiritual practice n path,
on this path many ups n downs,
not be surprised more of such "rolling hills",
but as the zen saying goes "fall down seven times, get up eight"...

happy to receive the Dharma name "smiling dwelling of the heart"
my gosh... gotta smile more =p

sailing off in couple hrs for a 2 mth overseas deployment...
see ya soon,
may all be well n happy
may everyone awaken to e kindness n connectedness that is the essential nature of our hearts

breathing in... out... smile =D

Thay in S'pore 2

today Thay gave dharma talk on awareness of feelings,
moving on from yesterday's talk on awareness of body...
1. awareness of joy
2. awareness of happiness

many ways to generate joy , happiness
a. letting go
so a story was told about a farmer with 3 cows, one day he lost them,
farmer was so distraught, stressed up n frustrated n felt like end of world,
Buddha told his disciples, "aren't u lucky u dun hav any cows to lose?"
so what are the cows that we are holding onto?
goodness, i think the farmer is pretty enlightened,
he onli got 3 cows, i think i got 1000 over =O kekeke
b. mindfulness energy

3. awareness of feelings, e.g. awareness of the fear/anger arising etc
know that our store consciousness contain many seeds,
negative ones like fear/anger etc,
conditions are ripe, they will arise,
practice means bringing up another seed from store consciousness,
seed of mindfulness,
use mindfulness to embrace fear/anger like a mother take care of her baby,
sayang sayang... take good care of it, n slowly transform the negative energy

4. releasing the tension from the feelings

breathing in, breathing out ahhh...

another nice relaxing day in retreat, recharging my spiritual batteries

may all beings be well n happy
kwan seum bosal =)

Thich Nhat Hanh in Singapore!

Beginning yesterdae nite, 5 days retreat with Thay began...
its my 3rd retreat with the plum village tradition...
within few daes of advertising, >600 (i think) pple signed up n full hse!
wow!
i was put on waiting list n feel sooo fortunate to still make it for the retreat!
haha why am i typing this in middle of retreat?? =O
keke cause i am a stay out participant, so many pple lo,
PKS actualli dun have enough space for all of us =p

i am so grateful for this retreat for 3 reasons:
1. that i can actualli do a retreat with Thay in S'pore is such a miracle,
having benefited from his teachings thru the many books he wrote,
it just fills mi up with so much joy n gratitude that i can receive his teachings in person =D
2. that i can actualli get my fiancee (who is not a practicioner) to join e retreat keke
i hope she will enjoy n benefit from this retreat! =D
3. that again its timely, before my long overseas deployment, a chance to refresh n reinforce the energy of mindfulness n energy =)

today Thay focused on the teachings of mindfulness of the breath,
and he discussed the first 4 methods of practicing with the breath,

1. being aware of the in and out breath, with mental noting/gatha (breathing in/out)
to assist n support the mindfulness of the breath
2. following the breath, awareness of the entire flow of the breath, including the gaps in between the breathing in/out
3. awareness of the body, returning to the here n now n dwell in body sensations,
4. releasing tension from the body, taking good care of the body,
a nourishing and healing process indeed (thru the total relaxation method)

Sister Chan Kong led us through total relaxation and touching the earth practices,
so embarassingly, i was so tired that i feel asleep midway thru the total relaxation kekeke

it just so inspiring to have Thay and the many >30 monastics from plum village traditon to lead us thru this wonderful retreat =)
hope the mindfulness energy of the plum village will take root here in s'pore n tat more pple will benefit from this positive energy n practice =)
looking fwd to the 2nd day...

better go sleep now kekeke

happiness is here n now

a year has passed since my first retreat under the guidance of venerables from plum village...
so timely to do a 2nd retreat under the same tradition =)

being free from silly pre-conceptions n beliefs this time round,
that "zen dun sing" etc haha
i find myself enjoying this retreat so much more =)
i actualli realli enjoy the singing sessions so much
and my favorite song is:
happiness is here n now

Happiness is here and now
i have dropped my worries
nowhere to go, nothing to do
no longer in a hurry

Happiness is here n now
i have dropped my worries,
somwhere to go, something to do
but i dun need to hurry

of cse unfortunately i can't literally sing it to u =p
if u noticed, the lyrics of each song deserve a dharma talk on its own =)

as a member of the organising comm,
i felt so paiseh that i could contribute so little due to the business of my work life...
i realli appreciate n grateful for the rest of the team who put in so much efforts to make this retreat happen n so wonderful, thank u my dear frens =D
but nevertheless coming to retreat, i just have to drop all these n enjoy da retreat keke

it was truly an "international event" with venerables n participants coming from all over the world,
argentina, france, germany, demark, canada, china, vietnam, indonesia, thailand, malaysia n s'pore...
its so wonderful to hear so many different languages n versions of the same songs that we sing during the singing sessions... cool =)

as i said during my entry for the previous retreat,
the approach from this school of zen is truly a different flavor of zen that i was more "used to"
little sitting (something personally i might wished for more),
nice long walks enjoying the present moment,
singing, dharma talks, discussions and even group presentations
its realli have the feel of more like a zen camp =)
but its truly refreshing and rejuvenating weekend for mi,
n help to strengthen the light of mindfulness within muh =)

been reading regularly Thay's books n i think i am benefiting more n more from his teachings,
his teachings so gentle so gently touching my everyday life =D
just breathing in breathing out, the miracle of mindfulness
share another favorite song related to this miracle
(is there such a thing as more than 1 favorite song? doesn't matter pls enjoy)
Breathing in Breathing out

breathing in breathing out
breathing in breathing out
i'm blooming as a flower
i am fresh as the dew
i am solid as a mountain
i am firm as the earth
i am free
breathing in breathing out
breathing in breathing out
i'm water reflecting what is real, what is true
and i feel there is a space
deep inside mi
i am free i am free i am free

a great way to start a dae

Thich Nhat Hanh teachings are so beautiful inspiring n gentle.

let mi share a para:

every 24 hour dae is a tremendous gift to us.
so we all shd learn to live in a way that makes joy n happiness possible.
we can do this.
i begin my dae by making an offering of incense while followin my breath.
i think to myself that this dae is a dae to live fully,
n i make e vow to live each moment of it in a way that is beautiful, solid n free.
this takes onli 3 or 4 mins, but it gives mi great deal of pleasure.
u can do the same thing when u wake up.
breathe in n tell urself that a new dae has been offered to u,
n u hav to be here to live it

this is a wonderful alternate way to start a dae,
to begin a dae with mindfulness gentleness
to begin a dae with a vow to embrace life with mindfulness n gentleness

in contrast to my "normal half-awake start to a new dae",
before long i am sucked into a vortex of
"business, worries n concerns about life n work"
then b4 i know it its end of dae keke =p

1 day retreat @ KYCL

did a one dae retreat @ KYCL over the weekend on sat.

its been couple of years since i last did retreat with KYCL!

the nite b4 we started with diamond sutra chanting n Shi Fu's Dharma talk,

went to bed at 10pm woke up at 4am,

n the day commenced with one period of meditation (40min)

followed by 108 prostrations,

another period of meditation

chanting then breakfast

work period, then 3 periods of sitting meditaton with walking meditation in between

then lunch then breathing exercise, another 3 periods of sitting meditation

then we ended with some sharing n then we returned home =)

good feeling to be back, most of the faces were unfamiliar/new =p

but there were couple old faces feels good to see them practicing so strongly,

its an inspiration, i hope to be able to join more often =)
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perhaps unsurprisingly, struggled mostly with drowsiness (after a tiring week)

but the 3 day retreat's postive spinoff were there,

aka my legs n back dun hurt as much haha

(still hurt of cse, esp that kwum um sch retreats has a lot more sitting compared to DDM/Plum V lineages)

caught myself drifting off most of time,

breathing in, out,

refresh myself n bring myself back to here n now, over n over again...

drifting off into wandering thoughts n drifting off into dreamland like state actualli not much different it seems

one makes the mind tense n scattered, e other brings e mind into a dull state (sometimes quite seductively comfortable haha)

but both are habitual means in which i try to run away from the here n now, escape from just this moment

depending on the level of energy at that moment...

n the method of practice is similar, to refresh myself n gently bring back to the present moment

just sitting...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
KYCL is struggling to raise funds to build the new zen center,

donated some more today, realli hope we can achieve the required funds soon,

the new center will realli be a much better n conductive center for practice

pray for the quick realisation of the new center

namu kwan seum busal

more reflections

while the previous reflections were done during the retreat closing reflection period,
sometime striked me just minutes after the retreat... jus minutes yeah...

i had relatively good sittings by the third evening n fourth day morning,
much of the everyday anxieties were not troubling mi,
hence i left the retreat with a feeling of "lightness n ease"
but as soon as i switched on the hp... the world changed completely =p

something happened at work that had reprecussions all the way to top management
i was partially at fault for the mess that my ship got into,
failing to ensure XXXXXXXXXXXXX

anyway my mood turned dark like a thunderstorm that dropped out of nowhere
gone were the lightness n ease haha
immediately!!
there was a trememdous sense of dread...

but i must say thankfully at right time =)
during this time when the practice energy is relatively strong,
i could use the energy of mindfulness n cuddle the negative energy
like a mother showing tender care for the baby
cutting thru the dreadful thinking after it churned for couple minutes...
i was left with sharp n wrenching pain in my heart (literally)
no wonder i find myself falling sick often recently n in general poor health,
i have identified strongly with my work n take everything very seriously
with strong personal identification n much has accumulated...
many things went wrong at work in recent mths n its killing mi literally keke =p

returning to my breath,
breathing in breathing out...
paying attention to the pain in my heart...
showering mindfulness to it like mother to her child...
slowly the pain ease...
but i am sure it will come back again, mmm probably tmr haha
i hope i am ready =)

reflection on the above:

1. i realised that its realli realli impt for everyday practice n sangha practice to sustain practice energy, without sufficient mindfulness energy, i am jus no way able to walk out of the messiness without falling prey to the negativity and succumbing to my habit energies - coming to 2nd point

2. once i get suck into the vortex of dread and negative energy, i will act in unkind ways and bring more negative energy to pple ard mi =(
i still rem reacting out to my men after being sucked into this kind of vortex of negative energy after one recent episode...
muz quickly activate the "mindfulness mother to cuddle the negative baby" before the baby creates havoc =p
i hav just told this to one of my close fren at work n told him to remind me if he see me sucked into such vortexes haha
i pray for pple ard mi their well being, peace n happiness
may all beings be well n happy,
may the world experience peace n harmony
it all begins rite here,
within our heart and mind,
when we decide to unleash our negativity out to others or do we take good care of our negativity n return to clear mind n bring positive energy to this world?

reflections on the Chan Retreat

felt that during large part of the year,
had been neglecting practice,
too caught up in the muddy waters of everyday work n life

realised daily formal practice really matters,
a couple of days without sitting n reading,
n i realised its hard to bring the mindfulness into things i do
also realised the importance of together practice (participating in a sangha),
a couple of weeks without group practice,
n i realised its hard to maintain the practice energy alone
n realised that practice energy is inversely proportional to amt of vexations haha

it is the dawn of a new year,
i am glad i spent it in a monastery,
regain a little practice energy
n get to renew my vows:
repentance vows - all evil/bad actions i did, i repent them all
bodhisattva vows - remembering practice direction is life centered not self centered, we practice to benefit everyone, all beings, not the little self
practice vows - holding onto our self-centered thinking, onli more suffering

finally i recall this admonition during the retreat:
This day has passed,
our lives too are closing,
like fish with little water
Joy will not last.
Let us work with pure effort,
work as we would were our heads aflame.
be mindful of impermanence.
be careful of idleness.

3 days Chan Retreat conducted by Guo Qi Fa Shi (of Dharma Drum Mountain)

exactly 1 year hav passed since the last retreat by Dharma Drum,
this year i attended it as well (31 - 3 Jan)
n i am pleasantly surprised to see many retreatants from last year one returning,
it became a mini reunion for us to catch up =D
(but only before n after the retreat of cse, since this is a silent retreat aka no talking =))

i am so very grateful for the organisers and helpers that made this retreat possible, n of cse shifu Guo Qi Fa Shi and Chang Yuan Fa Shi, so grateful they came all way down from Taiwan,
thanks for keeping the Dharma alive =D

b4 going on to techniques, for those who wants to have a good feel of the retreat settings n schedule, pls see my good fren's vincent's blog, he does it so well n professionally, not like my ramblings haha:

http://vincenttraveljournal.blogspot.com/2010/01/dharma-drum-3-day-retreat-3112-0301.html

something on the techniques:

3 methods of meditation were taught:

1. counting/following breath (as used in previous retreat)
2. Silent Illumination (Mo Zhao)
3. Hua Tou

we were given a taste of the above methods (each day intro one method)
and at of day for us to decide which one is suited for us =)
i always been the "soto" type of guy (whatever that means hahaha)
so naturally silent illumination was what i fell in love with =p
so thats what i will touch on a little here...
- the method of silent illumination is the core meditation practice of the Cao Dong (Soto) school of Chan (Zen) also popularly known as Shikantaza (the japanese version).
It is somewhat of a method that combines both samatha (hence the word silence) and vipassana (hence illumination) into one, two aspects functioning at the same time,
sometimes it is also known as the method of no method (no particular object of meditation)

to my understanding,
the fundamentals of mo zhao is nothing more than this:
1. where the body is, the mind is there
2. be very clear about everything/anything that arises,
but don't be identified with it (qing4 qing4 chu4 chu4, bu2 zhai4 hu1)

that essentially means, see clear, hear clear (e.g. cars zooming by in the background), when thinking arises see that clearly also, etc,
but leave them alone, dun touch it, dun fix it,
our little mind aka ego keep wanting to get involved in things, comment on things, analyse, complain, fix it, basically playing ard with anything that arises in our mind,
which is unfortunately more interesting than mo zhao haha =p
so practice mo zhao means leaving it all alone and just sit =)
just sit, that's all =)
sounds simple, and it IS that simple =)
the simplest technique there is in da world, but when we do it, it may not seem so,
because our little minds can be sooooo complicated keke =)


to find out more about mo zhao
1. join one of Dharma Drum's Mo Zhao retreats
2. read Master Sheng Yen's Hoofprint of the Ox and Illuminating Silence