What is this?

this is another technique that i find helpful in everyday practice, esp when something arises like an emotional reaction to a situation e.g. reacting to a statement that triggers our defense or anger or a physically painful situation e.g. dentist chair, injections, that demands a quick stepping out of our conditioned thinking to feeling the physical reality of the moment, no matter how painful it is, maybe physical discomfort in the body as e result of an emotion or real physcial pain. i think e spirit of this technique is to awaken an energy of investigation n curosity in the present moment...

we can't wake up simply by wishing to. without specific, ongoing effort we will continue to sleepwalk through our self-centered dream. Genuine awakening requires bringing attention repeatedly to the present moment of our life. one laserlike tool to help us do this is the practice of continually asking ourselves, "what is this?" Used in this way, the question becomes a koan, and as with all koans, the "answer" can never be conceptual. Don't try to analyze what the moment is about. instead, fully feel the texture of what your life truly is right now. the only real answer to the question, "what is this?" is your immediate experience itself.

~by Ezra Bayda extracted from his book "Saying Yes to Life"

the book "Saying Yes to Life" contains gems of wisdom ranging from page-long reflections to simple aphorisms that provides inspiration and invitation to go more deeply into the spiritual life...

Happi Lunar New Year!

Just want to wish everyone a very happy lunar new year =)

let us make use of the turn of the new year to remind ourselves of whats important and renew our aspiration to practice...

time flies away quickly, another year has passed, what is not impermament?
do we understand our true selves beyond the story line of our self-centred dreams?
are we appreciating our precious life?
moment to moment, are we paying attention?

KATZ!

thank u for reading.
may the new year bring peace joy and happiness for everyone =)

Book Review - Illuminating Silence by Master Sheng Yen

This is a book that i reread couple of times. the 3rd time i am reading now since buying it back in 2003. the book is a collection of Dharma talks given by Chan Master Sheng Yen to his students over the course of 2 retreats held in Wales.

the core of this book is as the title suggest - the method of silent illumination.
silent illumination is the core meditation practice of the Cao Dong (Soto) school of Chan (Zen) also popularly known as Shikantaza (the japanese version). It is somewhat of a method that combines both samatha (hence the word silence) and vipassana (illumination) into one, at the same time it is also known as the method of no method, because unlike most other methods of meditation, silent illumination has no particular object of meditation. confusing? read the book to find out haha =)

Reading this book u will feel like as if u are together on retreat with Master Sheng Yen. i enjoyed reading in this way - one talk one at a time after each sitting i done at home. its like as if i am on retreat, progress one day at a time, one talk at a time... reading it in this way i have found the talks inspiring and motivating for my continued practice.

The 2 retreats' talks are captured in 2 parts - one retreat one part

The first part focus particularly on the poem "calming the mind" and the feel of being on a retreat is most strong when u read this section (prob cause the talks in this section are not so much edited)

The 2nd part delves deeply into the practice of Silent Illumination. I have always felt an affinity for shikantaza/silent illumination type of meditation hence the love for this book.

But i must also emphasis that the talks are insightful not only because they present the method of Silent Illumination but also that it discuss in detail the general conditions, principles and attitudes for practicing.

The book also includes an autobiography of Master Sheng Yen and an introduction to Chinese Chan, esp as taught by Master Sheng Yen by John Crook, a Dharma Heir of Master Sheng Yen.

Great book if u want to have a taste of Chan as taught by Master Sheng Yen, and/or if u are interested in the Cao Dong/Soto style of practice =)

reflection on finding our direction in life

yesterdae after work,
managed to squeeze time n showed up at yesterdae's dharma circle at NUS,
partly was intrigued by the topic - finding ur direction in life...

i think e Dharma Frens did a great job and i am sure many of us walked away with helpful insights n questions to further probe ourselves along finding the direction in our life...
thank u all =)

but i did think that maybe to make it even more useful is to link it more to our practice life...
i think i didn't share clearly my thoughts on this topic during the session,
maybe mind was too scattered haha

after a sitting later, with mind bit more calm n collected, feel that maybe it is beneficial to share using this forum...

i discussed during the dharma circle that i think of direction in life in terms of both "outer layer" and "inner layer".

outer layer is finding direction from forms e.g. career, money, fame, achievements, luxuries etc
inner layer is finding direction thru spiritual practice

outer layer direction may change over time, direction of our career, studies, volunteer work, marriage, family, etc.

outer layer is always about looking outside, guided by our wants and needs, on the level of the form and personal self "i my me", which ultimately is self-centered...
to think that we can find happiness on this level, well, it is possible but is that ALL?

maybe driven by our innermost desire to understand the meaning of life, or maybe a nagging doubt of "What am i?", or maybe jus a little taste of dukkha, or maybe a sudden realisation that we are caught up in a rat race that is ultimately meaningless, sets us seeking more than the outer direction mentioned above...

then we begin look inside, within ourselves, to try to find direction in life on a "inner layer", trying to find direction out of the messiness of our everyday life thru spiritual efforts - the path to awakening, the practice life...

slowly we begin on the path of breaking identification with our self-centered thinking, observing of our mind and building the willingness to be present and living a more genuine life grounded in increasing awareness n presence...

we may begin to realise that the practice life - perhaps consisting of formal and/or informal methods of meditation, is realli the onli way to a more genuine and fulfilling life... as the process slowly open up our heart and mind, as we slowly develop wisdom n compassion bit by bit...
we may begin to see the outer layer from a different perspective...

before, we may be very serious and uptight about the outer direction in our life,
we may think that we muz have this or that to be happy, we muz do this or that to be successful, we muz attain this and that to be okie...

but slowly we may begin to realise the outer layer is not that ALL important as we previously felt to be after all...

i am not suggesting giving up our outer layer direction of life, as we definitely need something at the outer layer for bread and butter reasons, and that it is also often meaningful and/or fun to pursue some of the things at outer layer...

but rather i am talking about the ability to be able to see them with a certain light-heartedness (sometimes we can be so serious that we become scary isn't it =P), with loving kindness (sometimes we can be so harsh on ourselves isn't it =P) and know that whether we succeed or not is ultimately okie...

also we may begin to realise that our difficulties on the outer layer are not obstacles but they are the inner spiritual path itself. then outer layer and inner layer become one... our everyday living becomes our practice life, relating to both unreasonable bosses or subordinates becomes practice, managing e difficulties at work becomes practice, observing and dissolving vexations at work n at home becomes practice...

joy may then arise from the pursuit of our outer direction of life, in whatever it may be, a meaningful career, volunteer work, relationship...
in ways guided by cultivation at the inner layer,
the quiet kind of joy, ease and peace that is unfathomable to someone who is onli aware of the level of the outer layer...

3 Kinds of Enlightenment: Substance, Truth and Function - a talk by Zen Master Dae Bong

Taken from a Dharma Talk given by Zen Master Dae Bong during a retreat conducted in Singapore. Zen Master Dae Bong, a Zen Monk, received dharma transmission in April 1999. He began practicing with Zen Master Seung Sahn in 1977 and became a monk in 1984. Before studying Zen, he worked as a counselor in a hospital and as a welder in a shipyard. He has practiced and taught extensively in Zen Centers throughout the United States, Europe and Asia. He is currently living at Mu Sang Sa, Kye Ryong Sahn International Center in Korea

Many people who are interested in Buddhism think about enlightenment. In Zen sometimes we talk about 3 kinds of enlightenment. There’s 1st enlightenment, original enlightenment and final enlightenment. If you have interviews maybe you already understand. 1st enlightenment is perceiving our substance.
In the West there is a famous philosopher named Descartes. Descartes said “I think, therefore I am.” So that “I am”, that “I” is a thinking “I”, then Zen Master Seung Sahn always used to say “not thinking then what”. So that is the point. So if we are not thinking then what?
So this is our original substance. Before thinking is my true substance. My before thinking is my true substance, your before thinking is your true substance. Then your before thinking substance, my before thinking substance, the substance of the sun, the moon, the stars, all universe’s substance is the same substance.
So when you keep a mind that doesn’t know, when you keep a mind that has no thinking, that time you are the universe, the universe is you. That substance has no name no form. No life, no death.
So if we perceive our true nature, our true substance, then we have no life no death. Only body has life and death. True self has no life and death. This is just an physical example, but its like this. Ice, water, steam. Name and form are all different, function’s different. But everybody understands that the substance is the same, H2O. When ice melts, nobody cries, the ice has died! When water appears nobody says, the water is born! We know each of them is just changed form.
If we understand that point, then when we die crying is not necessary. When I first met the Zen Master, it was 1977. During a seven-day retreat, his heart suddenly has a big problem, it was missing many beats so he had to go to the hospital. That time people were afraid that he might die. Then I was really upset! I thought I finally found my teacher now he is going to die! So right before he went to the hospital, he came down to the meditation room to give a talk. Then I remembered very clearly, he began by saying: “I don’t have a problem, you have a problem.” “If you are attached to your teacher then you have a problem.”
And then he said, “Our body is just like a rented car. That is a “not me”. It is rented from universe. The rental agent is my father and mother. Then when you die you return the car to the universe. That time you must pay for the rental.” So he said, “So now my rented car has a problem, maybe soon broken, then return to the universe. Then get a new car, no problem. So if we are attached to this car then when we die we have a big problem. But if we find the driver, then when we die no problem. Driver continues get a new car.” So if we realize our true nature, then our mind is not suffering. The body may suffer, but the mind is not suffering.
So first thing Buddha said when he got enlightened was, “Amazing! Everything in this universe has this Buddha nature, has this substance.” So even when we are ignorance, we still have it. Just that we don’t recognize it. So 1st enlightenment is realize my true nature.
Original enlightenment means no subject no object, everything becomes one. When everything becomes one, you can see clearly, hear clearly, smell taste touch clearly. So outside is dark, inside is light. In the fields, the insects goes… That’s original enlightenment. See clear, hear clear, everything is clear. Sometimes we call that “truth” in our teachings.
Final enlightenment is one more step. You and everything, what is the correct function, what is the correct action? So you already understand. Cup and you drink. When somebody is thirsty, give them a drink. Somebody is suffering, help them. The name is final enlightenment. So these are just teaching words. Don’t hold on to these teaching words. Don’t check myself – did I get 1st enlightenment, original enlightenment or final enlightenment.
Sixth patriarch said, “When the Buddha has a moment of opposite thinking, then he is a sentient being. When a sentient being has a moment of clarity, he is a Buddha.” So moment to moment is most important. In our school, we say enlightenment is easy to get, but difficult to keep moment to moment. That means, it is easy to be clear one moment, but not easy to be clear moment by moment. So practice is very important.

Book Review - A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

After reading Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now several years ago, (which is another highly recommended spiritual manual - in my earlier list of 20 readings) i am pleasantly surprised that although talking on the same subject matter, Eckhart Tolle manage to bring in new material and content that is inspiring and helpful to my practice in his new book A New Earth.

Eckhart Tolle is a contemporary spiritual teacher who is not aligned with any particular religon or tradition. but you will find him describing the subject matter like a true blue Zen Master ;)

Subject matter - The movement from unconscious (identification with our mind/ego) to the conscious (breaking free from ego/residing in awareness/presence), which is nothing but the essence of our spiritual journey. In A New Earth, the workings of the ego, that which blocks our true nature, is described with uncomplicated clarity. Then the author moves on to talk about moving away from ego into presence and awareness with equal clarity.

Highly recommended reading for all, i hope u will find it as helpful to your practice as i have found it =)

this day has passed...

This day has passed.
Our lives too are closing,
Like fish with little water
Joy will not last.
Let us work with pure effort,
Work as we would were our heads aflame.
Be mindful of impermanence.
Be careful of idleness.

this is what's being recited as part of evening service at DDM
(n prob some other zen temples as well)


on a similar note, the following is recited at sesshins held at ordinary mind zen school:


Life and death is a grave matter
All things pass quickly away
Each of you must be completely alert
Never neglectful, never indulgent.


both serving as important admonition for all practitioners...
time is fleeting, appreciate this precious life n practice with diligence!

how dare he complain about mi!!

my fren told mi that XXX complained about mi... how fast i jumped into the "defensive mode" and reacted with a emotional charged "counter-complaining"! how can XXX say that about mi, its unfair! to think that i did blah blah for him, and that i blah blah how can he blah blah...

anger creeped up on mi... totally identified with the angry thoughts

then sometime later awareness arise n i notice my reactions and ramblings in my head...

remembered to practice... labelled the complaining n angry thoughts... label "complaining about XXX complaining about mi"... seeing the thoughts for what they are, just thoughts...

returned to the present moment by residing in the physical sensations of the body... ooo... feeling e uncomfortable sensations in the chest n tension all over...

slowly e energy of anger pass... whew...
i realised i was not so different from XXX actualli haha =P
(well i ended up complaining about him as well!)

the above process consisted of (1) labeling - thought labelling (my complaining and angry thoughts) and then (2) experiencing - returning to the phyiscal reality of the present moment (one way is by residing in the physical sensations of the body)

i hav found this 2 step technique of labeling and experiencing
veri useful in everyday practice...
this technique is carefully spelt out, explained and clarified in
Ezra Bayda's book~ Being Zen: Bring Meditation to Life
i am realli grateful for this technique as many a times it helped mi break identification with my thinking which i usually hold on so tightly to, as if they are the absolute truth haha =P


...the most important thing is, whatever is past, just let it go. your mind should be like a mirror, not a camera. whatever goes into a camera is recorded there; the reflection in a mirror vanishes when the object moves away...

~Master Sheng Yen

sundae morning group sitting at DDM S'pore

joined DDM S'pore (@ Duxton Rd) sundae morning group sitting 9 - 12 (consisting of yoga, sitting and walking meditation) ended with a short discussion on an article by Master Sheng Yen.

happy to have joined, energy of a group sitting is always different to sitting alone. group practice is a subtle but definite source of motivation to continue this long path of practice...

i find that in practicing alone (this i mean i live and work in an evironment where no one else practice) one of the bigger difficulties lies in Perseverance and Persistence (the lack of!): the ability to stick with practice through the ups and downs of our lives, to practice even when we don't feel like it. there certainly isn't a shortage of excuses! (to skip formal practice or resist staying with the present moment in everyday life)

Perserverance is no small thing, because at times our resistence can be very strong. Isn't it a fact that we often don't want to stay with the experience of the present moment for more than a few seconds? ...basically we learn that practice doesn't have to please us in the ordinary sense for us to continue practicing...

-Ezra Bayda

resolution - to attend the sundae morning sittings whenever my work schedule allows mi to!

3 breaths practice - 3 breaths at a time

i find the following technique very useful in my everyday practice,
largely because it is so simple and easy to do it, even the ego is happy to go along with it ;)
the point of this practice is to extend a moment of awareness for 3 full breaths,
injecting a conscious pause in the middle of our waking sleep for 3 full breaths...

1... 2... 3...

http://www.zencentersandiego.org/global/File/Three_Breaths.pdf

walking sleep

jus earlier on in the day, walking from e carpark to my office, i was totally absorbed in an incessant stream of thinking... body walking, mind thinking... not seeing not hearing... totally in a "walking sleep"... zzz...

then suddenly,

from e distant background a whistle sounds peeeeeeeeeee...

just hearing... momentary gap in the stream of thought...

feeling the movement of my feet, movement of my body, tension in my body, just seeing just hearing... relieved to hav woken up from my "walking sleep"...

yaWn...

whats e hurry?

pace slow down... peace each step...

instead of galloping about, we walk slowly, like a cow or an elephant... if u walk slowly, without any idea of gain, then u are alr a good zen student...

-shunryu suzuki roshi